


When Words are Inadequate

by timtamtawney



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27762298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timtamtawney/pseuds/timtamtawney
Summary: “Wait.” Catra says, wrapping her fingers around Adora’s wrist. “Adora, I – I don’t remember how to do this. How to be your friend and you’re being so nice to me and – ““Me, neither,” Adora whispers, cutting Catra off. “It was a long time ago. We were so different back then,” she says a little wistfully.“But we don’t have to remember, Catra. We can just… learn again.”~~~Love is hard, even when Mara is your mother figure instead of Shadow Weaver. A story spanning childhood to adulthood about growing up, coming apart, and falling in love.
Relationships: Adora & Mara (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Mara (She-Ra)
Comments: 63
Kudos: 317





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My wife says that my oneshots are too depressing and she won't read my fics unless I write something more cheerful. =( She suggested a kidfic, but I ended up writing about Catra and Adora growing up. I'm still not sure I managed to properly write "childlike" inner voices that grow up each chapter, but you'll have to let me know. It was a fun experiment either way. 
> 
> Here's a not-that-angsty slice of life story about two people who love cooking for each other. I hope you enjoy it!

Adora has never been asked to stay after class before. She knows some of the bad kids get asked to stay inside during recess, but Ms. West doesn’t look mad, so maybe this isn’t like that. Adora looks at the other two kids that Ms. West asked to stay. She knows Kenny, he was in her kindergarten class last year and he’s nice even if he’s a little awkward. He looks a little worried, too. The other girl looks like _she_ might be a bad kid – her face looks a little mean. Adora is jealous of how tan she is, though.

“I’m sorry for not telling you kids earlier,” Ms. West says once all of the other kids have left. “The three of you got perfect scores on the math assessment! Do you remember that test from last week?”

Adora nods. It was a long test, but the problems weren’t _that_ hard. She likes math, anyway.

“That test was supposed to cover everything we’re going to go over in class this year, but you three already know all of it!” Ms. West continues. “How would you feel about learning 2nd grade math instead? You could sit in the back and learn from the book while everyone else does the regular lessons?”

Adora’s eyes grow wide. She likes being good at school. Whenever she’d shown Mara her report card with all As, Mara danced with her and let her have French fries for dinner. She wonders if she can get French fries out of this.

“Anyway, I just want you three to talk to your parents about it and tell me tomorrow if you want to stay with the rest of the class or learn next year’s math. That’s all!”

Adora can’t help but notice the mean-looking girl frown slightly as they zip up their backpacks.

“Hi! I’m Adora. Do you like math, too?” she asks the girl as they walk out of the classroom. Kenny doesn’t seem like he wants to talk to them.

The mean-looking girl scowls at Adora. She doesn’t answer, though.

“Wow!” Adora gasps as she looks closely at the other girl. “Your eyes are so pretty!”

The other girl takes a step away from Adora. Adora wonders if this girl might not like her. Before she can think about it more, though, they reach the parking lot and her eyes grow wide. “Oh, no! We missed the bus!”

“Can’t you call your mom? That’s what I did,” Kenny said, taking out his cell phone. Adora frowned. She doesn’t have a cell phone, and even if she did, Mara was probably still at work.

“I’ll walk! Mara showed me the way before!” Adora announces. Kenny doesn’t seem to care. “What about you? Is your mom coming to get you?”

The other girl shakes her head. “No.”

“You _can_ talk!” Adora says excitedly. “Do you want to walk home with me?”

“I don’t –“

“You don’t?” Adora asks, eyes welling up with tears.

“I don’t know the way!” the other girl whisper-shouts.

“Oh! Just stay by me! I’ll show you!” Adora says. She doesn’t like it when the mean-looking girl looks scared. Even mean is better than scared. Adora grabs her hand and pulls her along. Mara had said that sometimes she would be busy at work when Adora needed a ride, so she and Adora had practiced walking home so Adora would be ready for this. She would walk the mean-looking girl home and maybe after that they could even be friends.

“My name is Catra,” the girl says after a few minutes of walking in silence.

“That’s a cute name! I’m Adora!” Adora says, looking at Catra. She’s glad that she can stop calling her “the mean-looking girl” in her head. Catra doesn’t even look that mean right now, anyway.

“Nuh-uh. I don’t wanna be cute. And you said that already,” Catra replies, her nose turned up a little.

Adora giggles. “I don’t wanna be cute, either! I want to be strong, like Mara!”

Catra tilts her head to the side. “Who’s Mara? Is that your mom?”

Adora looks away. It hurts a little in her chest when she has to talk about her real parents. “Mara’s my mom’s, um… she’s my cousin, I think! My parents died when I was really little so I live with Mara now. She’s really nice and strong but she has to work a lot, so I have to take the bus home.”

“Oh,” Catra says quietly. Adora can tell that she’s not really sure what to say.

“What about you? What’s your mom like?” Adora asks.

Catra frowns and doesn’t answer.

“That’s okay! You, um, you don’t have to tell me! I’m sorry!”

Catra giggles. It’s a raspy laugh, but Adora can feel its warmth. She decides she likes laughing-Catra better than sad-Catra or angry-Catra. “You talk a lot,” Catra says.

“Lots of kids tell me that!” Adora exclaims. “Mara told me that I don’t have to be friends with kids who think I talk too much, though.” 

Catra giggles again. “Mara tells you lots of stuff, huh.” Adora grins at her. Maybe Catra _will_ be her friend.

They walk in silence for another few moments before Catra speaks up. “My mom isn’t very nice.”

Adora frowns. That didn’t really make sense to her. Weren’t moms _supposed_ to be nice to kids? It sounded really bad if Catra’s mom wasn’t nice. Something else didn’t really make sense to her, either… “Where you do live?”

Catra frowns like she’s thinking really hard. “I get off on the…” She counts with her fingers. “eighth stop on the bus.”

“Where’s that?”

Catra shakes her head and shrugs. Adora frowns, then brightens.

“I know! Why don’t you come to my house?”

“Why?”

“We can call your mom and then we can play until she picks you up! It’ll be fun!” Adora says excitedly.

Catra thinks for a second before nodding. “’Kay.”

~~~

Adora is _shiny_ , Catra thinks as the girl skips home, dragging Catra by her wrist. She squints a little at the back of her head and wonders if she’s going to sneeze.

Catra marvels at Adora’s house when they get there – it’s huge! Her eyes get big as Adora gets a key out of her backpack and opens the door. _Her_ mom never let her have a key to the house, so sometimes Catra would have to climb in through her bedroom window. As long as she remembered to leave it unlocked.

Catra had never been to anyone else’s house before, but she had wondered what it would be like. Her eyes get big again as she looks around. The ceilings are really high and the chairs are all blue and white. And there are so many rooms! Catra follows Adora quietly as she showed Catra her room. It’s small, but Catra likes Adora’s dresser which is covered in stickers and drawings. Most of them are of horses.

“Swords are for boys,” Catra says, pointing at Adora’s comforter. It’s dark blue and it has a big sword and shield on it.

“Are not!” Adora exclaims, looking a little angry. “I can like swords if I wanna!”

Catra giggles. She likes teasing Adora. And not just because Adora is a little spoiled. Her eyebrows look funny when she gets mad.

Catra’s stomach growled loudly, making Adora’s eyes go wide.

“Are you hungry?” Adora asked. Catra nodded. “I can make you a snack!”

Catra doesn’t get a chance to answer before Adora is pulling her back downstairs. “You can cook?” Catra asks.

“Yep!” Adora says proudly. “Mara taught me how!” Catra frowns. Mara sounds like she teaches Adora lotsa things and she isn’t even her mom. The last thing _her_ mom taught her was how to tie her shoes. She didn’t teach Catra anything useful like how to walk home from school or how to cook or even how to make friends. It makes Catra feel a little mad to think about.

“How come Mara isn’t home?” Catra asks. She doesn’t feel _that_ bad when Adora’s face falls a little.

“She’s got an important job! She says she’s a, um…” Adora’s eyebrows scrunch up as she sounds out the syllables. “She’s a cun-zul-dent!”

Catra has never heard that word before. “What’s that?”

“Mara says it means that she tells people how to do stuff and they give her money!”

Catra’s eyes get big. “She must know lots of stuff…” _That_ must be why she can teach Adora so many things.

“Yeah! She’s really smart!” Adora is smiling again. “I wanna be just like her when I grow up!” Catra frowns again. She doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up, but she doesn’t think it’s like her mom.

“Oh, did you wanna call your mom?” Adora asks, pointing the phone in the kitchen.

Catra doesn’t, really, but she doesn’t know how to explain why, so she shrugs and walks over to the phone. She whispers the numbers to herself twice so she doesn’t mess them up, then pushes the buttons on Adora’s phone. Nobody picks up.

“That means we can hang out more!” Adora exclaims, clapping her hands together. Catra squints at her again. Adora might be too bright for her to look at.

“I’m hungry,” Catra reminds Adora. She doesn’t want to tell Adora the reason she’s hungry already is that she didn’t eat lunch. Her mom had forgotten to leave her money again.

“Let’s make dinner!” Adora says, even though it’s only 4 PM. “Mara won’t be home ‘til late so we can eat when we want. What do you want to make?”

Catra shrugs. She doesn’t know how to make anything, but she doesn’t want to admit that. She bets that cooking can’t be that hard if someone as dopey as Adora can do it, anyway.

“Macaroni and cheese!” Adora decides.

Catra nods. “Like from the blue boxes?”

Adora shakes her head. “We’ll use Mara’s special recipe,” she whispers. Catra nods slowly. Was it a secret recipe? Mara even knew how to make special macaroni and cheese! It seems unfair to Catra.

Catra watches as Adora takes a big pot out of the cabinet and fills it with water. “This is for the shells,” Adora explains as she stands on a stepstool to put the pot on the stove and lights it. Catra has never even seen her mom use their stove, so she’s amazed that Adora could do it without a grown-up. Adora grabs a handful of salt and tosses it in the water, too. Catra thinks that must be important, but she doesn’t want to ask why. Once it starts bubbling, she adds pasta shells. Then, Adora opens the fridge and gives Catra a block of cheddar cheese. “Grate this!” She pulls out a head of broccoli, too, and washes it. 

Catra’s nose crinkles. “Broccoli?” She starts grating the cheese, though. She’s glad Adora is explaining things, because she didn’t want to have to ask.

“Mara says I havta have one vegetable for dinner!” Adora responds. She turns the oven on and starts cutting the broccoli. While she grates the cheese, Catra watches Adora as she puts salt and pepper on the broccoli pieces and puts them on a tray. Once the oven beeps, she puts the tray in the oven.

“What are you doing?” Catra asks.

“Roasting!” Adora puts another pot on the stove and adds milk to it. “Now we need Mara’s secret ingredient!”

Catra’s eyes get big as Adora takes a box of white powder out of a cupboard. It looks like salt. “What is it?”

“Um, it’s called… sit-tayt?” Adora says. “It helps the cheese melt! Look!” She adds a little to the warm milk and then starts adding clumps of Catra’s shredded cheese to the sauce pan. She’s right! The cheese melts and turns the milk orange. “Mara says boxed macaroni has this stuff,” Adora explains as she stirs.

“You’re good at this,” Catra whispers. Adora beams at her. She likes making Adora smile, she decides. She likes making her mad, too, though. “Guess you aren’t as dumb as you look.”

Adora splutters for a second, but turns back to the cheese sauce. It’s smooth and thick now. Catra feels her stomach growl again. Adora giggles when she hears it. “Almost done!” She lifts the pot of pasta and steps off the stepstool near the stove and onto the one near the sink. She pours it out into a strainer, then pours the noodles into the cheese sauce.

“What about the broccoli?” Catra asks.

“Oh, yeah!” Adora puts on oven mitts and pulls the tray out of the oven. It smells good, and not just for a vegetable. She used a scoop to pick up the broccoli pieces and put them in the cheesy noodles. Catra can feel her tummy grumble again as Adora pours the noodles into two bowls. “We’ll save some for Mara, too,” she says. “Here!”

Catra takes the bowl and walks over to the dining table. It smells really good, much better than the lunches at the school cafeteria. Adora hands her a fork as she sits down. She takes her first bite.

“Is it good?” Adora asks. Catra looks up at her. The girl’s eyes are shiny and she’s leaning forward in her seat. Catra doesn’t really understand why Adora is being so nice to her when they only met today, but she decides that it’s not so bad.

“Yeah!”

~~~

After eating, Catra helps Adora rinse their bowls. “It’s important to put water in the cheesy plates,” Adora lectures her. Catra watches Adora scoop Mara’s dinner into a bowl and cover it with saran wrap, and then they watch TV. Catra lays on her back on the squishy couch, feeling more full than she had since the time she stole Kyle’s chicken nuggets during lunch. Adora is sitting on the floor, watching a cartoon about horses that Catra doesn’t really bother paying attention to.

Catra bolts upright when she hears the front door unlocking. She glances at Adora fearfully, who jumps up with a grin.

“Mara’s home, silly!” Adora says. Catra untenses a little, not sure what Mara was going to be like. Maybe she’d be mad that Adora invited Catra over without her permission? Would she yell at Catra if she was?

“I’m home, Adora,” Catra hears in a tired voice. Mara walks into the living room and Catra’s eyes get big. Mara _is_ cool, just like Adora said. She’s tall, taller than Ms. West and she’s got dark skin and brown hair, just like Catra. Catra thinks that Mara and Adora don’t really look that alike at all. She’s also wearing a suit that makes her look like a secret agent. Maybe that’s what being a cun-zul-dent was.

“Oh, you brought a friend over,” she says, giving Catra a warm smile. Catra freezes – she’s not sure if she should smile back.

“This is Catra!” Adora exclaims, running over to Mara for a hug. Mara hugs Adora and picks her up, spinning her around a little. It looks like fun. “Catra and I had lots of fun! She’s really good at math! Her mom didn’t pick her up and she was hungry really early so we made mac and cheese and then we cleaned up and do you think she could maybe sleep over if her mom doesn’t pick her up?”

“Slow down, sweetie,” Mara says, putting Adora back down. She frowns a little at Catra. “Catra can stay over if she wants. Adora, could you go to your room and lay out a sleeping bag for Catra?”

Adora nods excitedly and runs upstairs. Mara walks over to Catra and kneels in front of her. “It’s nice to meet you, Catra. Is that true? Your mom didn’t come pick you up?”

Catra nods. Mara is looking at her with a kind face, so she doesn’t feel like lying, even if Mara is an adult. 

Mara frowns. “Did you have lunch today, Catra?”

Catra’s not sure how Mara knows, but she shakes her head.

Mara looks unhappy. Was that the wrong answer? “Catra, sweetie. When you’re home, what do you do when you get hungry?”

Catra’s not sure what the right answer is that’ll make Mara stop looking sad, but she doesn’t know what the wrong answer is, either. She decides to tell the truth. “I go to bed.”

Mara gives her a very serious look. “If you ever get hungry, Catra, tell Adora you want to come over and we’ll feed you, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Catra nods. She realizes where Adora gets her shininess from. Mara is bright, too, but her light is warm and safe instead of being a little painful to look at.

“Now, why don’t you go upstairs and get ready for bed?” Catra nods and jumps off of the couch. “Oh, and Catra?” Mara says as Catra reaches the foot of the stairs. “Thanks for making me dinner.” Catra’s not sure how to respond, so she just runs up the stairs, her face a little warm.

~~

“Mara’s really nice,” Catra tells Adora after she climbs into her sleeping bag next to Adora’s bed. It smells funny, like her mom’s old clothes.

“Yeah. And she’s really smart and cool and strong, too,” Adora replies. Catra can tell she’s smiling while she says it.

Catra is quiet for a while. “My mom’s not like Mara,” she says softly. She hopes Adora doesn’t ask her why. She doesn’t know the answer to that question, anyway.

Adora rolls onto her side and looks at Catra. “That’s okay! Now that we’re friends you can come hang out with me and Mara all the time!”

“We’re friends?” Catra asks. No one had ever shown her how to make a friend, so she isn’t sure she’d become Adora’s friend. Even if she _had_ , she isn’t sure how she’d done it.

“Yeah! Aren’t we?” Adora sounds like she’s suddenly not sure.

“Yeah, dummy. We’re friends,” Catra says, rolling away from Adora. She doesn’t want Adora to see how big she’s smiling. Adora is her _friend_. Saying it to herself feels warm.

The next day, Catra sits next to Adora on the bus for the first time.

~~~

Adora is glad that Catra wants to be her friend. In fact, it’s not long until Adora is pretty sure that Catra is her _best_ friend. Catra comes over almost every day to help Adora cook and she even seems like she might be paying attention when Adora watches Spirit Riding Free, even if she pretends she isn’t.

Catra never invites Adora to her house, but Adora decides that’s okay. She’s just glad Catra is her friend. Adora worries that other kids don’t want to be her friend because she talks too much, but she can’t help it. She knows that Mara says that she doesn’t have to be friends with kids that don’t like her the way she is, but it was lonely until she met Catra.

The other great thing about Catra is that she’s really good at math! Even better than herself, Adora thinks. Catra always finishes their homework really fast and spends the rest of the time helping Adora or trying to distract her by whispering jokes in her ear. Adora’s gotten mad looks from Ms. West a few times for giggling too loudly during their lessons, but Adora doesn’t mind because she’s been having a lot more fun at school since she met Catra.

“Do you wanna come to my birthday party?” Adora asks during recess after winter vacation. They’re picking daisies in the soccer field. Catra keeps flicking the heads at Adora.

“What do you do at a birthday party?” Catra asks. Had she never been to one?

“We’ll have cake! And Mara will make me French fries! And there’ll be presents!” Adora says excitedly.

“Who else will be there?” Catra asks. Adora can tell she’s still shy around the other kids, even if she talks a lot to Adora.

“Just you and me! And Mara!” Adora says. All the birthdays she can remember have just been her and Mara. 

“Okay,” Catra says, giving Adora that small smile that Adora has learned means Catra’s really happy. “But I’m not getting you anything.”

~~~

Adora _loves_ her birthday. Not just because she gets presents, but also Mara stays home and hangs out with her all day. Since it’s a special day, Adora decides to wear her red dress with a bow in the back that Mara bought her just for important occasions. She runs down the stairs when she hears the doorbell ring. “She’s here!”

“Catra! You came!” Adora says as she swings the door open, beaming brightly. It’s the first time she had a friend over for her birthday. “How’d you get here, anyway?”

“I walked, stupid,” Catra says, walking inside. “Mara taught me how to do it, too!” Adora’s glad that Mara’s taught Catra some stuff, too. It didn’t sound like Catra’s mom teaches her much of anything. 

Catra pulls a small box wrapped in newspaper from behind her back and gives it to Adora. “I got you a present,” she says, eyes flicking away from Adora’s.

Adora’s eyes get big. “Thanks, Catra! You said you weren’t getting me anything!” She pulls Catra into a big hug. Catra never really hugs her back, but she giggles, so Adora thinks she’s probably happy, too.

“I was joking, dummy.”

“Come on! Mara’s making lunch already!” She takes Catra by the hand and pulls her into the dining room.

“Catra! I’m glad you could make it,” Mara says, sparing Catra a warm smile before returning to chopping potatoes. She’s cutting peeled potatoes into long strips and putting them in a bowl of water.

“Are you making French fries?” Catra asks.

Adora nods, excitedly. “Yeah! It’s for my birthday!”

Mara chuckles softly as she cuts the potatoes. “French fry meals are only for special occasions, okay, girls? Not that you two should be frying food when I’m not home…”

Adora nods. Mara says that frying oil is dangerous and Adora _does_ always get a little scared when Mara puts the potatoes in, anyway, so she doesn’t want to try it by herself until she’s bigger. “Can I open Catra’s present, Mara?” Adora asks. This was the first time she was getting a birthday present from a friend.

“I don’t see why not,” Mara says as she lowers the first batch of fries into the oil. Adora sees Catra start when they start boiling loudly.

Adora tears the wrapping paper off the small box quickly and opens it. Inside there are two red and black bracelets made of embroidery floss. “Catra!” Adora says as she takes the bracelets out carefully.

“I made us friendship bracelets,” Catra says, taking one of the bracelets from Adora. “I read about them in the library.”

Adora slips hers on, beaming at Catra. “I’ll wear it always! Isn’t it pretty, Mara?”

“That’s very sweet of you, Catra,” Mara says, lifting the fries out of the oil. They smell good.

“Are they ready?” Catra asks as she puts her bracelet on.

“No, silly! Mara’s secret move is frying the fries twice!” Adora lectures. Catra rolls her eyes at her, but Adora keeps going. “It makes them extra crunchy!”

“How come you know so much about cooking?” Catra asks, turning to Mara.

“Hm? Oh, it’s a hobby of mine,” Mara says as she puts the first batch of fries back into the oil. They don’t sizzle as loudly this time. “Well, it was when I was in college – I’m just so busy with work, now. I try to teach Adora my favorite recipes when I can, though.”

“She’s really good at it!” Catra says, as if she’s standing up for Adora. It makes Adora giggle.

“You’re getting good at it, too, Catra! You’re the best, um, Sue Chef!” Adora says.

“ _Sous_ -chef, sweetie,” Mara says absent-mindedly as she lifts the fries out of the oil and into a paper towel-lined bowl. They make a rattling sound as they hit the bottom of the bowl, so Adora knows they’re going to be crunchy.

“They’re ready now?” Catra asks, leaning forward in her chair. Adora can tell that she’s excited to try them.

Mara sprinkles some salt into the bowl and tosses the fries a few times. “Now they’re ready! For dipping, I made some aioli and there’s ketchup, too, of course,” Mara says.

Adora grabs a fry and breaks it in half. It makes a nice crunching sound. “Hear that?” Adora says, putting one half of the fry in her mouth. Mara’s fries are the best, even better than McDonald’s. She holds the other half up for Catra, who looks at her funny before letting Adora put the fry in her mouth.

Catra’s eyes get big as she chews. “These _are_ really good!” Mara sighs in relief, making Adora and Catra giggle.

“Can we watch the movie while we eat, Mara? Can we?” Adora asks excitedly. She wants to watch Dreamer, which is her _favorite_ movie, even though she always cries at the part where Cale’s dad gets mad at Sonya. 

Mara gives her a big smile. “Of course, Adora.”

Catra and Adora sit on the floor in front of the TV and Mara doesn’t even tell them that they shouldn’t sit so close to the screen. After the first part of the movie, Adora can hear Mara snoring a little on the couch, but that’s okay. Mara had to come home after dinner every school night this week, so she was probably tired. Catra pretends that she doesn’t care about the movie, but Adora can tell that Catra’s excited when Sonya races at the end and she hears Catra quietly say “Yes!” when Sonya and Cale win. Adora smiles as she pops another French fry in her mouth. Birthdays are much better with a best friend, she decides. 

~~~

“When’s your birthday, Catra?” Adora asks that night as she lays in her bed. Catra’s in her sleeping bag on the floor. Mara had made burgers to go with the leftover fries for dinner, which Catra had _really_ liked. Adora had never seen someone eat a burger that quickly.

“October 28th. Why?” Catra replies. Adora rolls onto her stomach and scoots to the side of her bed so she can look at Catra.

“Oh, that’s not for a long time,” Adora murmurs. “What do you wanna do for your birthday?”

Catra is quiet for a while. “I dunno. I’ve never had a birthday party,” she says softly.

Adora’s eyes get big as she peers at Catra. “Really? Then we have to do something really special!”

“…I don’t think my mom would let me,” Catra says.

Adora frowns. Whenever Catra mentions her mom, it’s because she hasn’t taught Catra something important or doesn’t let her do something fun. “We don’t have to tell her! Let’s have it here! We can invite all your friends!”

“Really?” Catra says. Adora can see her mismatched eyes reflect the light from her nightlight. “I’d just invite you, though…”

“That’s okay! I invited just you to my birthday, didn’t I?” Adora asks.

Catra nods, then sniffs loudly. “You’re so nice to me,” she whispers. Her voice sounds small.

Catra never says nice stuff like that. Even Adora can tell this is _important_. “Well, duh! You’re my best friend, Catra!”

She hears Catra giggle softly. “You’re _my_ best friend, too, Adora.” It sounds like a promise.


	2. Chapter 2

After they start 2nd grade, Catra tells Adora that for _her_ birthday, she really wants to blow something up. She’s not sure if Adora can make that happen – really, she’s happy to just have another sleepover with Adora, but Adora spends the week before her birthday swearing up and down that she has an idea. Catra doesn’t really think she’ll get to get to blow something up for her 7th birthday, but she likes that Adora is trying. It feels a little exciting to have someone like Adora try so hard to make her happy.

“Okay, it’s not blowing something up _exactly_ , but it’s pretty close, so Mara said we have to wait until she comes home so she can help us, but she said she’s going to come home early…” Adora rambles on the bus ride to Adora’s house.

Catra nods along, only kinda paying attention. Usually, her mom would be a little nicer to Catra on her birthday, but that just meant that she’d leave her extra leftovers or tell her happy birthday instead of ignoring her or yelling at her. It still bothers her a little that Adora gets Mara, who is so good at being a mom even though she isn’t _really_ a mom, but Mara is always really nice to Catra, too, so ignores the feeling. Spending her birthday with Adora and Mara is going to be better than all of the other birthdays she’d had so far put together, anyway.

“Do you want to open your present?” Adora asks the second they get inside her house. Catra can tell Adora’s excited. That’s one of her favorite parts about Adora – it’s easy for Catra to tell what she’s thinking.

“Yeah!” Catra nods. She’s excited, too. She’s never gotten a birthday present before. Well, not counting half-empty takeout containers, anyway. 

Adora runs up the stairs to her room, but Catra decides to walk to the living room. She notices for the first time that Mara has lots of pictures on the wall. Some of them are of Mara with other adults that Catra doesn’t know (her friends?) and some are of her and Adora. Catra wonders if _her_ mom has any pictures of her hanging up in their house. She hasn’t seen any.

“Hey, Adora!” Catra says as she hears Adora bounding back down the stairs. “We should take a picture!”

“That’s a good idea! For your first ever birthday party!” Adora nods eagerly. “Here!”

Adora pushes a messily wrapped box into Catra’s hands. Catra flops onto the floor and tears it open. Inside the cardboard box is a red bell. Catra looks up at Adora, confused.

“Oops. This probably doesn’t make any sense, huh?” Adora grins at her sheepishly. Catra shakes her head.

“That’s okay! Let’s play soccer instead!” Adora grabs Catra by the wrist and drags her to the backyard. Catra leaves the bell on the coffee table. She hasn’t figured out Adora’s present, but she suspects it has something to do with Adora being a big dummy.

Even if Adora is a bit dumb, Catra admits that she’s good at soccer. _Really_ good. She always dribbles circles around the other kids in PE and, unlike Catra, Adora pretty much always kicks the ball in the direction she wants it to go. Catra suspects that Adora takes it a little easy on her when it’s just them, but she’s okay with that. They mostly just kick the ball back and forth and talk, anyway, until Mara comes home.

“Mara!” Adora shouts, running inside. Catra follows behind, suddenly feeling a little shy.

“Hi, girls,” Mara says, picking Adora up and planting a kiss on her cheek. “Happy birthday, Catra!” Mara gives Catra a warm smile. “Did you two decide what you want for dinner?” In the last year, Catra has gotten more used to Mara’s kindness. She’s still not sure about _most_ adults, but Mara is pretty good as far as she can tell.

Adora shakes her head. “Catra should decide! It’s her birthday!” Mara nods.

Catra thinks for a second. “Can we have cheeseburgers?” she asks. They had burgers for Adora’s birthday, too, but Catra had _loved_ them, even more than chicken nuggets from the school cafeteria and mac and cheese, which were probably her other favorite foods.

“Of course, Catra,” Mara says, carrying Adora into the kitchen while Catra follows. “How was school today?”

“Today in math we learned about the area of a triangle!” Adora starts excitedly. Catra lets Adora talk, nodding along when she needs to. She feels calm here – spending time with Adora and Mara makes her feel like she’s part of a family like the ones on TV, where the parents kiss each other and tell the kids that they love them instead of ignoring them all the time or yelling. Catra frowns. On TV, the parents usually kiss each other, but Mara doesn’t have someone like that, does she?

“Mara!” Catra pipes up, interrupting Adora. “Who do you kiss?”

Mara’s cheeks turn red as she chops pieces of beef into bite-sized pieces. “What do you mean, Catra?”

“On TV, all the parents have someone to kiss! Like Alex’s parents. Right, Adora?”

Adora nods seriously. “That’s true, Catra. Lots of parents on TV kiss each other, that’s true.”

Mara cheeks still look pink as she pushes the beef into the meat grinder. “I don’t kiss anyone!” she says. Catra thinks she sounds embarrassed. She feels bad for asking if it’s going to make Mara feel embarrassed.

“How come?” Adora asks. “I bet lots of people would wanna kiss you!”

Mara chuckles as she shapes the ground meat into patties. “That’s very sweet, Adora. I guess I just haven’t met anyone that _I’d_ like to kiss.”

“How come!” Adora demands again.

“Hmmm,” Mara says as she lifts each patty with a spatula and puts it on the frying pan. They sizzle loudly, but it smells really good. Catra’s eyes get big the smell fills her nose. “I guess I’d rather hang out with the two of you than meet someone like that.”

Adora frowns, but Catra just feels warm. She likes it when Mara makes her feel included. Catra watches Mara assemble the cheeseburgers in Catra’s favorite order – bottom bun, sauce, lettuce, patty, cheese, pickles, top bun. She and Adora had decided that was the best way to put together a burger _months_ ago.

“Can we tell Catra the plan yet?” Adora asks as Catra takes her first bite. It tastes better than it smells, which is already really, really good.

Mara nods. “Well, Adora told me you wanted to blow something up…”

Catra nods eagerly. “Yeah!”

“Well, we can’t do _that_ ,” Mara says, making Catra’s face fall. “But we have the next best thing! Fireworks!”

Catra’s eyes get big. Fireworks are _awesome_. “I get to set off fireworks?”

“Well, we’ll do it safely… in the dirt field behind the house. But yeah!” Mara smiles between bites of her burger.

Catra can hardly wait, so she eats the rest of her burger as quick as she can, even though she wants to enjoy each bite. Mara bought a bunch of fireworks and she helps Catra light all of them. Adora seems a little scared of the noise, so she stands further away. Catra decides she likes the ones that fly up into the air and explode the best, but the birthday-cake shaped one that they light last is pretty good, too, even if it just kinda sends a bunch of sparkles into the air.

At the end, Mara uses her phone to take a picture of her and Adora. It doesn’t come out that well because it’s dark already and Mara’s flash isn’t very bright, but Catra thinks it’s fine because Adora hugged her really tight and Catra felt happier than she’d felt on all her birthdays put together.

On the drive back to Adora’s house, Catra leans over in her seat and whispers in Adora’s ear. “That was the best birthday ever.”

In return, Adora gives Catra the biggest, brightest smile she’s ever seen. “I told you I had a plan! And it’s not over, silly. You haven’t opened Mara’s present!”

“Mara’s present?” Catra asks as the car pulls back into the garage.

“Yeah!” Adora leaps out of her seat and runs into the house before Catra can react. Catra looks at Mara, confused.

“Come on over here, Catra,” Mara says from the driver’s side of the car. Catra walks around to the other side curiously.

Mara stands there with a black bicycle with red stripes on the frame and training wheels. “Happy birthday, Catra,” she says, wheeling the bike over to Catra.

“T-this is for me?” Catra stutters. It feels like her heart is a balloon that’s been inflating inside of her all day and she’s afraid it’s going to explode.

Adora runs back into the garage, holding the red bell. “Did you show her, Mara? I saved up my allowance and got you a bell, too!” she exclaims, attaching the bell to the left handlebar.

“Do you like it, Catra? Is it the right color?” Mara asks.

Catra nods as hard as she can because she wants Mara to know she likes it, but she’s afraid if she tries talking the balloon of happiness inside of her will pop. It does, anyway, and for the first time, Catra finds out that you can cry from being so happy.

~~~

The last week of summer vacation before 3rd grade, Catra bikes all the way over to Adora’s house with the letter saying who her teacher will be.

“We’re together again!” Adora says, pulling Catra into a big hug.

“Of course we are, dummy. They have to keep us together so I can keep helping you with math,” Catra teases, but she’s relieved to see they’ll be together for another year. Ever since she met Adora, school had actually started being fun. Not the _school_ parts of school, of course – paying attention in class and doing homework still sucked, but Catra was doing better at those for Adora’s sake.

No, what was fun about school was the fact that Catra finally had someone to sit next to during lunch instead of sitting at the end of the table alone. What was fun was that during recess, she and Adora would run around in the grass and play make-believe where Adora was a knight and Catra was a princess. Sometimes they swapped, but Adora always insisted on having a sword whether she was the princess _or_ the knight, which Catra thought was a little silly. What was fun was having someone to talk to on the bus ride home instead of just staring out the window.

Third grade isn’t exactly the same as second grade – Catra and Adora start making a few more friends. Well, Adora does, anyway – the other kids start inviting them to play soccer with them sometimes once they realized how good Adora is at it. Catra isn’t bad, either, but Adora always wins no matter who else is on her team.

In the spring, their class puts on a play about the Revolution and Adora is selected for a leading part, while Catra only has two lines. Catra finds it a little odd, because she’s pretty sure Adora is a terrible actress, but she does _look_ the part of a leading lady – straight-backed and strong. After the play, Adora becomes a little bit more popular with their classmates. Catra notices that sometimes other kids ask Adora if she wants to hang out after school. She always says no and Catra feels proud that Adora is _her_ best friend and nobody else’s.

~~~

As the years ago by, Catra starts spending more and more of her time at Adora’s place. If she stays over too late to bike home, Mara drives her home and always waits in her car for Catra to flicker the lights in her room, so that she knows that Catra’s mom didn’t notice her coming back so late. Catra sleeps over at Adora’s house more weekends than not and even goes with Mara on Saturdays to watch Adora’s soccer games.

Catra’s eyes easily track Adora as she runs across the field. Mara is always standing on the bleachers cheering Adora on, which Catra finds a little embarrassing as she grows older, but Catra secretly wishes she could be as uninhibited with her feelings as Mara. Like today, when she watches Adora running the ball down the field, ponytail bobbing as she weaves around defenders, Catra feels an inexplicable energy that makes her feel very tense and happy at the same time. She feels the same energy when she and Adora sit next to each other and watch TV, and also when Adora gives her hugs. She’s not sure what it is, but she’s _sure_ she can’t ask Adora about it. Adora would probably just think Catra was being weird.

Before she can give it any further thought, Adora jukes past a defender and kicks the ball into the top left corner of the goal, soaring over the goalie’s head. Catra pumps her fist as Mara jumps up again, hollering about how “that’s her girl.”

“Did you ever play sports, Mara?” Catra asks during the next lull in the game.

“Hm? Oh, sure. I played basketball in high school. I have lots of great memories with my team,” she says.

Catra’s not surprised to hear that – Mara is pretty tall and built like an athlete. Catra sits in silence for a while, mulling over the other part of Mara’s answer. Even though Catra has been Adora’s _best_ friend for five years now, she’s becoming less and less Adora’s _only_ friend. Lots of kids like Adora – the other girls on her soccer team, most of the boys and girls in class, even kids in other classes. Other kids tolerate Catra because she is Adora’s friend, but Adora’s naturally good with other people. Long gone are the days when all she and Adora did during recess was play make-believe on their own.

“Do you think Adora wants that?” Catra asks. “To make memories with lots of friends?”

Mara gives Catra a look and lets out a little sigh. “You two are at an age where the things you want are going to change a lot. Soon.”

Catra frowns. She’s not really sure what Mara is trying to say. “What do you mean?”

Mara fidgets. “I’ve been dreading this part of raising kids… and I thought that I’d have a few more years.”

Catra giggles. “I’m 10 already, Mara. I’m basically grown up!”

Mara snorts. “A lot is going to change in the next few years for you, Catra. Adora, too. The things you want will change, your body will change, and you’re probably going to find a lot of it confusing.”

“Mara, we learned about puberty at school. You don’t have to tell me about _that._ ”

Mara lets out an audible sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. But around this age, you’re going to want to experience new things. Maybe Adora will want to spend time with new friends. Maybe you will. It’s normal.”

Catra doesn’t like the sound of that at all. She can’t really imagine wanting to hang out with anyone other than Adora, but Mara was saying that maybe puberty would do it to her anyway. “Adora and I might stop being friends?” she asks in a small voice.

Mara puts her arm around Catra’s shoulder. “That’s not what I’m saying, kiddo. I think you’ll both make new friends, but I think as long as you really want to be friends with Adora and she really wants to be friends with you, it’ll be okay. Okay?”

Catra nods. She’s positive that she’ll want to keep being friends with Adora, and Adora had promised her that she’d always be Catra’s friend, so maybe there was nothing to worry about.

~~~

“I’m maybe thinking of inviting Lonnie and some of my soccer team to my birthday party this year. And Kenny, too, maybe,” Adora says carefully to Catra on their first bus ride home after winter break. Her 11th birthday is coming up, which feels like a _big_ one. She’s wondering for the first time if maybe she should invite a few more of her friends to her party. Catra also seems to like Lonnie, in her own way, and Kenny had been in their class since first grade, so she can probably tolerate him, too, right?

“Kenny’s such a dweeb,” Catra says, smirking. “You’re really going to invite him?”

Adora exhales, relieved. She had been a little worried that Catra wouldn’t like the idea of Adora having a bigger birthday party. Catra’s last birthday party was their typical sleepover with her and Adora, even though Adora had promised she’d be okay with it if Catra wanted to invite their other friends. It made Adora feel guilty, like she was keeping Catra all to herself, even if she secretly enjoyed knowing that Catra liked her as much as she liked Catra. She had decided that she was going to _try_ and share Catra with her other kids, even if it meant spending less time alone with her best friend.

“He’s been in our math class for so long! It’d be mean not to, don’t you think?” Adora says, giggling a little.

“Yeah, yeah. So what are we going to do this year? Not horseback riding again, _please_ ,” Catra says.

“Shut up! You liked Swifty by the time we left. I _saw_ you feeding him sugar cubes,” Adora teases, bumping her shoulder against Catra’s. “Anyway, I was thinking laser tag this year?”

“Ah, so you want to spend your birthday getting your butt kicked. Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Catra chuckles.

“You only won last time ‘cause you’re a cheater! You’re not supposed to run in the arena!” Adora jibes back. Catra laughs again and Adora can feel a warmth in her chest. She and Catra would always be closest, but it’s good for them to have other friends, too.

~~~

Adora’s 11th birthday party is fun, Catra thinks, even if it isn’t just her, Adora, and Mara this time. Catra’s actually talked to Lonnie a few times at school and while they don’t get along, exactly, they’re friendly enough. Catra knows the other girls on Adora’s team by face, if not by name and they seem polite. Mara seems a little thankful that she doesn’t have to play laser tag with them, since they have even teams without her.

Catra and Adora end up being on opposite teams, which seems fair enough because none of the other girls can really keep up with them. Catra ends up stuck with Kenny on her team, who is somehow more terrible at laser tag than she could have imagined, but they still end up eking out the win. Afterward, they go to the pizza parlor across the street. Catra feels a flash of… something unpleasant in her chest when Lonnie sits next to Adora at the table, but she decides to ignore it and sit next to Kenny, instead.

“We’re pretty lucky, aren’t we?” Kenny says before he takes a bite of pizza. 

“What do you mean?” Catra asks. She sees Adora giggling at a joke she couldn’t hear. She feels another flare of that unpleasant feeling. It wasn’t anger, exactly…

“We’ve always kinda been loners, you know? I didn’t really have any friends until we all got put in math together in first grade.”

Catra shrugs. “Sure, I guess.”

“It’s just lucky that we got to meet Adora, I mean. She decided to make friends with us, right?”

“…Right.” Catra frowns. Adora is just the sort of person who could become friends with anyone around her. Why had Adora, so bright and friendly, chosen Catra to be her best friend?

She wants to voice her question aloud that evening, after the other girls have been picked up by their parents, but she’s not really sure how to phrase it without sounding weird. She and Adora are sitting next to each other on the couch watching Dreamer _again_ , despite the fact that they’ve both memorized it. Mara, overworked as ever, is dozing off on the lounge chair next to them.

“Hey, Adora?” Catra asks, a little hesitantly.

“Mm?” Adora murmurs, her mouth full of popcorn.

Catra still isn’t really sure what to ask. “Nothing.”

Adora snorts. “Seriously, what?” She tilts her head, leaning it on Catra’s shoulder, causing Catra to tense inexplicably.

“I just can’t believe we’re still watching this movie after all these years. You are _such_ a horse girl.”

“You like it, too! It’s our tradition!” Adora insists.

Catra rolls her eyes. “Yeah, but I know all the lines by heart at this point. I don’t _really_ need to see it again.”

That night, as Catra lays awake in her sleeping bag, her heart feels a little unsettled, but she’s not really sure why. She wonders what makes her friendship with Adora different than Adora’s friendships with the girls on her soccer team. Sure, they have years of shared memories and traditions, but aren’t those just coincidences? If Catra met Adora today, would they still end up as close as they are?

Catra curls into tight ball. She’s a little afraid of the answer to that question. She wishes that she could peer inside Adora’s mind to reassure herself that she’s somehow special to Adora, but that’s impossible. Instead, she just lets Adora’s soft snores lull her to sleep.

~~~

Middle school comes with plenty of changes, most of which Catra doesn’t like. Not having to listen to the same teacher all day is nice, but now she only has homeroom and math with Adora. Even worse, seating in math is alphabetical now and Gray is pretty far from Weaver, so aside from the back of Adora’s head, she doesn’t see much of her best friend at school, even in the classes they have together. They still eat lunch together, but now there are a bunch of kids sitting with them and they _all_ seem to want to talk to Adora.

All this would be okay, Catra thinks, if she and Adora still hung out after school, but Adora makes the school’s soccer team, too! She doesn’t really begrudge Adora for that, though – Adora is _really_ good at soccer and Catra likes watching her play. The only issue is that the school soccer team practices for an hour after school four days a week.

“What if you join a club, too?” Adora asks that evening as she peels a carrot and hands it to Catra.

“I don’t really want to,” Catra says, cutting the core of the carrot away. “Besides, I can’t think of a club that meets as often as your team has practices.”

“Good point,” Adora says, frowning a little as she grabs another carrot. “But that means we can’t take the same bus home.”

Catra tosses the cut-up carrot pieces into the pressure cooker and starts cutting up the next peeled carrot. “It’s okay. We don’t _have_ to hang out every day…” Catra trails off. _Why did I say that?_

Adora stops peeling for a second and gives Catra a look. “Don’t you like hanging out with me?”

“Of course I do, dummy,” Catra says, poking Adora in the forehead with a piece of carrot. _I just…_ “I just meant that you don’t have to go out of your way for me.”

“I do, though,” Adora says as she peels the last carrot. She puts a stick of butter in the pressure cooker along with a bit of baking soda while Catra chops up the carrot.

Catra’s brow furrows as she watches Adora seal the pressure cooker and light the burner underneath it. She can admit to herself that she likes it when Adora does nice things for her, but she doesn’t want Adora to feel like she _has_ to go out of her way for Catra. Especially… especially if Adora doesn’t _want_ to.

Before she can figure out what she wants to say, though, they both hear the door to the garage open.

“Hey, girls!” Mara calls out as she walks into the kitchen, dropping her bag by the dining table. “What are you two making today?”

“Carrot soup!” Catra replies, giving Mara a toothy smile.

“Oh, Mara, guess what!” Adora says, perking up. “I made the soccer team! The coach said I could probably play striker!”

“I’m so proud of you, sweetie! Though I would have liked it if you’d gotten into basketball instead,” Mara chuckles, leaning on the countertop.

“I’m not tall enough for basketball, Mara,” Adora giggled. “The only problem is that practices are almost every day after school! I was trying to figure out what Catra could do while I’m at practice.”

“I can figure it out myself, Adora,” Catra huffed. She isn’t angry, really, but she is starting to get a little annoyed.

“What if we gave her a spare key, Mara?” Adora asked.

“Well… I have no problem with that…” Mara’s brown eyes dart between Catra and Adora. “Sweetie, do you mind finding the spare key? It’s in my closet somewhere. I’ll take care of the carrots.”

“Yeah!” Adora, clearly glad that she came up with a good plan, bounds up the stairs. Catra shakes her head a little. _Such an idiot_.

“Alright, kiddo, what’s wrong?” Mara asks, turning the heat off under the pressure cooker.

Catra stares at her hands, trying to figure out the answer to Mara’s question. It had _something_ to do with that weird excitement she felt around Adora, but even more than that… “I don’t want you and Adora to let me mooch off of you just because you feel sorry for me.”

Mara sighs as she hefts the pressure cooker over to the sink and runs cold water over the lid. “You’re not mooching off of me, Catra,” she replies.

“But I’m always staying over here and eating your food. I’m not even your kid, Mara!” Catra exclaims.

“Adora’s not my kid, either,” Mara reminds her. “Do you think she’s mooching off of me?”

“N – no, but…” _What’s the difference?_ “But you’re _like_ her mom. And moms are supposed to take care of their kids,” Catra finishes quietly.

Mara frowns as she purees the carrots with a stick blender. “Is that what this is about? Do you think I feel sorry for you because your mom doesn’t take good care of you?”

Catra nods, not sure what else to say.

Mara whisks chicken stock into the carrot mush and puts the pot back on low heat. “I _do_ feel sad that your mom… isn’t the best,” Mara says. _That’s being generous_ , Catra thinks to herself. “But that’s not why I take care of you, okay?”

“Then why?” Catra asks.

Mara sighs again, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. “Ever since Adora brought you home that day… Look, Catra, I love you. You’re part of my family, too, okay?”

“Oh. Then… oh.” Catra feels her eyes get wet, but she doesn’t want to Adora to see her crying when she comes downstairs, so she throws her arms around Mara’s waist and sniffles into her stomach. “Okay,” she says, finally.

“I found it!” Adora says, stomping back down the stairs. “Uh… is something wrong, Catra?” she asks, glancing between Catra and Mara.

Catra sniffs again, and then shakes her head. “No way, dummy. Are you going to give me that key or what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I promised only a tiny bit of angst, which we are building toward. Don't worry, they're going to work it out!
> 
> I found some old diaries when I was visiting my parents for the holidays and they were pretty useful primary sources on what it was like to have a crush at this age, lol.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite having a spare key, which Catra _does_ appreciate, she doesn’t go over to Adora’s place quite as often on weekdays after soccer practice starts. Part of it is that her own mother has gotten a _little_ better at least occasionally buying groceries, but most of it is that she doesn’t want to sit around alone in Mara’s house waiting for Adora to come home. She’s not Adora’s pet – the thought of it makes her feel a little pathetic.

With her extra time at home, Catra decides to actually try and do her homework. Math is still as easy as it was before, even though they’re doing pre-Algebra now, but she finds that she also finds Physical Science and History surprisingly fun. Not so much that she enjoys doing homework, but enough that she actually looks forward to those classes each morning.

“What do you want to do for your birthday?” Adora asks in homeroom, the week before Catra’s 11th birthday.

“Hmmm…” Catra says, filling in a worksheet due next period. “Something with fire.”

“What is up with you and fire?” Adora giggles. “Do you wanna roast marshmallows or something?”

“Only if Mara makes us hot chocolate,” Catra grins at Adora.

“What’s wrong with _my_ hot chocolate?” Adora asks, looking hurt.

“If I knew, I wouldn’t need Mara to make it, would I?” Catra teases.

“Okay, okay,” Adora says, rolling her eyes. “Do you… want to invite anyone else?”

“Nah, that’s okay,” Catra responds carefully.

Adora squints at her for a moment, then speaks up hesitantly. “You know, it’s okay if you invite our other friends…”

Catra frowns. What does Adora want her to say? That she doesn’t have any other friends? That all their friends are really _Adora’s_ friends, not hers? That, for just one day, she wants Adora to only pay attention to _her_?

“I just wanna hang out with you this year. Like we used to,” she says, finally.

Those must have been the right words to say, because Adora gives her a radiant smile. “You really do like me, don’t you?”

“No, shut up!” Catra scowls, but she feels warm inside.

~~~

Adora’s glad that Catra’s birthday is on a Saturday this year, because it means that they can hang out all weekend. Ever since they had started middle school, Adora had felt like there was some… weird tension between the two of them. Not bad tension, exactly, but _some_ kind of tension that she hadn’t figured out.

Part of it, she thought, was that Catra seemed content to not really make new friends in middle school. In elementary school, Catra had never really needed to hang out with anybody, which is what made her so cool and intimidating, but it was good for them to make more friends, right? Catra _did_ hang out with Adora’s soccer friends at lunch every day and was polite enough, but Adora gets the feeling that if she wasn’t in the picture, Catra wouldn’t be hanging out with the soccer team.

Adora worries at times that she was keeping Catra from hanging out with people she liked better than Adora’s friends. On the other hand, Catra didn’t want to invite anyone else to her birthday, so… maybe not? Catra doesn’t really tell her how she feels, so it’s a little too difficult for Adora to figure out. However, she’s happy that she and Catra are spending time together like they used to, so she tries to avoid fretting about it.

“So, soccer season starts for real next month,” Adora says. They’re huddled together under a throw blanket in front of the fireplace. It’s not _really_ cold enough to need a fire yet, and it’s a gas fire – Mara says that real wood fires are bad for your lungs – but it’s still warm and comfortable.

“Wait, what have you been doing all year?” Catra asks, head tilted in confusion.

“That was just conditioning and practice, silly.” Adora giggles. “We have our first real game in two weeks.”

“Oh.”

Adora hesitates. “You’ll come watch, right?”

Adora thinks she hears Catra scoff a little. “Don’t you already have, like, a million fans?”

“Catraaaaaa.” Adora leans her head against Catra’s shoulder. She feels her friend tense for a second, then relax. “I play better when you’re watching,” she admits quietly.

“Okay, okay, if you _need_ me there, I guess I have no choice,” Catra snickers. Adora exhales contentedly as she feels Catra lean back against her a little.

“Mara can drive us! Isn’t that right, Mara?” Adora asks as Mara sets a tray with three mugs of hot chocolate and a small, giftwrapped box down in front of them.

“Happy birthday, Catra,” Mara says, handing Catra the box. “I can’t believe you girls are in middle school already,” she sighs heavily. “You two make me feel so old.”

“You’re not _that_ old, Mara. And even if you are, you’re still cool,” Catra says as she tears the wrapping paper off of the present. “Wait, is this…?” she trails off, gingerly lifting the lid off the box.

Adora grins widely at Catra as Mara explains. “Adora told me that you didn’t have a cell phone and, honestly, I’d feel safer knowing you had one, so… happy birthday!”

“I already put my number in as a contact!” Adora said excitedly. “And Mara’s, and our home phone number, just in case.” Adora looks at Catra eagerly, who is still staring, a little distantly, at the little flip phone. “It’s… you like it, right?”

Catra nods as she powers the phone on. “Yeah, dummy. I’m just… it’s a lot,” she murmurs. “Thanks.”

Adora wraps her arm around Catra’s shoulder and gives her a hug. “Mara added you to the family plan, so we have unlimited texting.”

Catra blinks a few times as if to compose herself, then cracks a smirk. “So now you’re going to keep bothering me even when I’m not here? Good lord, Adora.”

Adora pokes Catra’s side and, when she tries to squirm away, hugs her even tighter with her other arm. “Oh come on, you like it,” she giggles.

“I do _not_!”

Out of the corner of her eye, Adora sees Mara beaming at them as she sips her hot chocolate. Adora isn’t dumb – she knows that things are starting to change with school, with friends, with her and Catra. They’re no longer the awkward 6-year olds who only had each other. They probably won’t be the way they are _now_ forever, either. Time will march forward. But Adora wants to cling to moments like this as long she possibly can.

~~~

The rest of 6th grade passes by in a flash, but now that they both have cell phones, Adora’s soccer practices don’t really get in the way of them talking every single day. Over the summer, they both start to notice changes in each other – by the last week of vacation, Catra finds herself having to tilt her head up to look Adora in the eye.

That’s not the least of it, though – Adora is no longer just too-big elbows and bony knees – she’s starting to look more … grown-up, Catra thinks. She’s not the only one who has noticed – Catra notices the boys in their 7th grade classes sneaking peeks at Adora during class. Catra doesn’t _really_ blame them – she sometimes finds her eyes lingering a little too long on Adora, too, but for some reason it irritates her that other people are looking at Adora like that.

Catra is still the fastest at finishing the assigned problems in math class, so she often finds herself staring off into space or observing the other kids during the latter half of class. Adora sits four seats ahead in the column of desks to her left, so she can’t help it that the “space” the stares off at is often the back of Adora’s head, right?

“Hey, Catra.” Kenny pokes her in the shoulder. He must have finished his homework, too.

“What?” She whispers, a little irritated, as she turns around. She wishes that Adora’s last name started with a Z instead of Kenny’s.

“Uh, nothing…” he trails off, clearly cowed. “I just thought you were done, too.”

Catra feels a little bad, so she flashes Kenny an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

Kenny grins knowingly at her. “Yeah? Something interesting?”

“None of your business, dweeb!” Catra blusters.

“You were staring at Adora, right? Do you have a crush on her or something?”

Catra feels her face get hot. She’s silently thankful that her dark skin makes it harder to tell that she’s blushing. “I do _not_! When did you turn into such a little shit stirrer, anyway?” Kenny had gotten a bit more confident since elementary school. He isn’t _cool_ or anything, but he has his own group of geeky friends, so Catra supposes that he finally found his element.

Kenny chuckles quietly. “Okay, okay, forget I asked. Who do you have a crush on, then?”

Catra tugs at one of her curls, frowning. “I don’t know. How do you know you have a crush on someone, anyway?” she murmurs.

Kenny strokes his chin for a moment. Catra supposes he’s trying to look wise, but he looks kind of dumb when he only has three hairs on his entire face. “Well, when you have a crush on someone, you want to pay attention to them and hang out with them all the time, I guess. And you want to kiss them, obviously.”

Catra squeaks a little as she feels another wave of heat radiate from her face. _Kiss_ them? Kissing Adora? She _definitely_ doesn’t want to do that! Right? Now that she thinks about it… and she _does_ want to hang out with Adora all the time, but that’s because they are best friends, obviously. But she does want to hold Adora’s hand. And maybe run her fingers through her hair? And sometimes, if she looks Adora in the face too long, she starts to feel really anxious in her chest, but in a good way…

And… oh. _Oh._

“So who do _you_ have a crush on, huh?” Changing the subject. That was the best move, definitely.

Kenny blushes, eyes darting around the room. He leans in and whispers. “Christy. You know, from PE?”

Catra does know Christy. Well, she doesn’t _know_ Christy, but she knows of Christy. She is one of the popular girls who, like Adora, is on the soccer team. She seems a little out of Kenny’s league, in Catra’s opinion. “Have you ever even talked to her?”

Kenny shakes his head morosely. “No… I don’t think she knows I exist…”

“How do you know you like her, then?”

“Huh?”

“How do you know you like her if you don’t, like, I don’t know. You don’t know what she thinks about, or what her hobbies are, or… things like that.”

Kenny frowns. “I want to find out those things about her because I like her, right?”

Catra turns away from Kenny, glancing at Adora out of the corner of her eye. “Yeah, I guess…” Kenny is clearly still the same old dweeb when it comes to talking about love, but… maybe she has some things she needs to think about, too. As the bell rings, she pulls out her phone and opens up her messages with Adora.

_Catra (1:55 PM): what’s for dinner tonight?_

_Adora (1:56 PM): idk. soup? soccer practice today, tho_

_Catra (1:58 PM): sure. i can come chill in the bleachers til you’re done._

_Adora (1:59 PM): AWWW rlly?? u really do like me huh_

Catra blushes as she shoves her phone back into her pocket. She doesn’t need to dignify that with a response.

~~~

“…Cheese water?” Catra asks, eyeing Adora suspiciously as she grates a block of cheddar cheese.

“I know, it sounds a little extra, but it’s good! I promise!” Adora grinned at Catra as she grated some gruyere. Mara had made this onion soup once before and it’s one of Adora’s favorites.

“Suuure. You’re gonna owe me if I get sick from this, though.” Catra shook her head slightly as handed Adora her bowl of grated cheese.

“Oh, shush,” Adora said, dumping both bowls of grated cheese into a saucepan of just-below boiling water. “I’m glad we have more classes together this year.”

Catra watches Adora stir the cheese into the water, crinkling her nose. “That looks gross. And yeah, lucky you,” Catra smirks at Adora.

“I _am_ lucky. The smartest girl in school helps me with my homework!” Adora says, putting a lid on the saucepan and turning the heat down. There’s a lot more Adora could have added – Catra’s super pretty, she’s really cool, she doesn’t take crap from anyone… Adora feels lucky that she gets to spend so much time with Catra.

“Hey. Adora!” Catra’s voice breaks her from her reverie. “You okay there, space captain?”

Adora shakes her head and turns and leans against the counter. “Sorry, I zoned out there for a sec. Um, hey, there’s a school dance next Friday, right?”

Catra’s eyes snap to Adora’s, but her voice is steady. “Yeah? Sounds lame.”

Adora furrows her brow. “I thought it might be fun… Lonnie and Octavia asked if I wanted to go with them and hang out. Do you want to come along?”

“So, what. You want me to tag along with your dumb friends all night?” Catra scoffed.

“They’re not dumb!” Adora wrings her hands a little. “Sue me for thinking it could be fun.”

Catra frowns and opens her mouth like she’s going to say something, but huffs and looks away instead. “We always hang out with your friends,” she says after a pause.

“Not _always_. And I thought you liked them,” Adora says, a little hurt.

Catra glares at Adora. “I don’t, alright? I just like – I don’t want to hang out with them all the time. And at a dance? I didn’t think you’d be into something that lame.”

“Guess you didn’t know me as well as you thought,” Adora huffs. Why is Catra acting like this? Doesn’t she want to hang out with _her_? Adora gets the onions from the fridge and starts chopping with a _little_ too much gusto.

Catra doesn’t move to help Adora, but Adora thinks she hears a soft “guess not” behind her.

Adora finishes making the soup on her own and by the time Mara gets home, an uncomfortable distance has stretched between her and Catra. They eat in near-silence, with each of them only making token attempts at responding to Mara’s small talk. Adora can tell from Mara’s expression that she senses something’s wrong, but none of them broach the topic. After dinner, Catra asks Mara for a ride home. Mara gives Adora a concerned look, but takes Catra back to her house.

_Catra (7:53 PM): i’m home._

_Adora (7:54 PM): glad u r safe._

Adora chews her lower lip as she types out another message.

_Adora: sorry about the dance._

Her thumb hovers over the _Send_ button, but she shakes her head and deletes the message. What does she have to apologize for, anyway? Catra was the one that got all weird about it. Shouldn’t _she_ be the one apologizing? So instead, Adora flops down on the couch until she hears Mara’s opening the garage door again. 

“What happened, sweetie?” Mara asks when she gets back.

“I don’t know!” Adora groans in frustration. “I asked Catra if she wanted to go to the dance next week and she got all… grumpy. Did she say anything to you?”

Mara shakes her head and shrugs.

Adora sighs and glances at her phone again. _No new messages_. Maybe Adora’s best move was just to wait for Catra to talk to her. It’s not like she can make Catra feel better if she doesn’t tell her what’s wrong.

~~~

Catra doesn’t bring up their fight the next day and they pretend, sort of, that it never happened. Adora tries to bring up the dance one more time, but she shuts up when Catra shoots her a glare. Catra feels a surge of a hot, unpleasant feeling in her chest as she watches Adora pick up her ticket with Lonnie and Octavia at lunch the day of the dance. Catra isn’t dumb – she knows she’s jealous, but she isn’t sure of _what_ , exactly. Is she jealous of Adora for making friends so effortlessly? Or is she jealous of Lonnie and Octavia for getting to hang out with Adora? It was the first one, definitely. Right?

An uncomfortable part of herself worries that it’s both, which made everything more frustrating. Is it even possible to have a crush on someone and be envious of them at the same time? Catra isn’t positive what all people are supposed to do when they are in love, but she knows that at the very least, the person you love is supposed to be your most important person. If that’s what liking someone is, then Catra _does_ like Adora, but it’s painfully obvious to her that Adora doesn’t like her back. Catra’s not sure she’s even in Adora’s top three most important people.

The worst part is that she _does_ want to go to a dance with Adora, but, like, _with_ Adora. As Adora’s most important person. She definitely doesn’t want to just “come along” with Adora’s friends. Catra wishes she had someone aside from Adora to talk about stuff like this with. _I do, though, don’t I?_ she thinks.

That evening, once Catra’s _sure_ that Adora is at the dance, she pulls out her cell phone and calls Adora’s home phone number. Mara picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mara. It’s Catra.”

“Hey, kiddo. Are you okay? Why are you calling?” Mara asks a little breathlessly, her voice hard. “Do you need me to get you?”

“No, I – I’m okay. I mean, yes, I do want to talk. In person. But I’m not in trouble.” Catra stammers.

“Oh,” Mara’s voice softens. “I can be there in 15, okay?”

Catra’s mother is still awake and because she doesn’t want to deal with an annoying conversation, she slips out her bedroom window and sneaks out onto the curb just as Mara pulls up.

“…Thanks,” Catra murmurs as she pulls on her seatbelt. “I’m sorry, I just don’t have anyone else to…” she trails off. To talk to? She doesn’t have anyone else, full stop.

Mara gives her a sad look. “Have you eaten dinner, kiddo?”

Catra shakes her head. She sits quietly – she’s not sure where to start.

Mara puts her car into drive and pulls away from the curb. “My parents weren’t great, either,” she says steadily. “They paid attention to me, but it was like they had my whole life planned out from the second I was born and any deviation was betrayal.”

Catra perks up a little. She doesn’t know _that_ much about Mara, she realizes. “Yeah? What was their plan?”

Mara chuckles, a hint of bitterness creeping into her voice. “They wanted me to go into politics. They had it all planned out – a private school business degree, internships with big legal firms, the whole nine yards. They wanted me to go to law school, work for a while, then eventually run for Senate.”

Catra’s eyes widen a little. “Why didn’t you want to do it?”

“Right after I finished college, Adora’s parents… well, you know,” Mara winces a little at the memory. “I had to make a choice. Take her in and stray from the path my parents laid out for me or leave her to foster care.”

“What did your parents think about it?”

“Oh, they were furious that I was even considering it. They insisted that she wasn’t my responsibility, that I already had a duty to fulfill. Can you believe that?” Mara asks, shaking her head. “Adora’s their niece and they were going to just let her be someone else’s problem.”

Catra remains silent, waiting for Mara to continue.

“Well, you know what I picked. I haven’t spoken to them since.” Mara breathes out a heavy sigh. “I just wanted to give Adora the childhood she deserved. I want for her to be able to choose. You, too, Catra,” she adds. 

Catra nods. “You’re a good mom, Mara,” she murmurs. She watches Mara’s lips curl into a soft smile.

“Thanks, kiddo. We’re here, by the way,” she says, turning right into a drive-through burger place.

Catra orders a cheeseburger and a milkshake and wolfs it down as they drive back to Mara’s house. She mumbles a thanks between bites, but Mara only responds with a chuckle as she spares a glance at Catra’s gusto.

“So,” Mara says as she pulls the car into her driveway. “Do you want to talk inside?”

Catra shakes her head. “This is fine.” She’s still not sure she’s ready to speak up, though.

Mara nods and gives her an encouraging look, leaning back in her seat.

“I think… I might have a crush on someone,” she manages, eventually.

Mara lets out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh, kiddo. I was worried that you wanted to talk about something much worse. Crushes are normal. What’s the problem?”

Catra screws up her face, working up her courage. “I’m not _sure_ I like them, but I don’t think this… person likes me like that.”

“Have you asked them?”

Catra shakes her head.

“Then how can you be so sure? I mean, maybe you’re right, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”

“No, Mara, you don’t get it. This person _can’t_ like me back, okay? She – “ and then, Catra realizes what she’s already admitted and closes her mouth.

Mara’s eyes widen in surprise, but soften as she gives Catra an understanding smile. “Oh. Yeah. I get it.”

“ _Do_ you?” Catra asks bitterly.

Mara chuckles. “I’m gay, Catra. You couldn’t tell?”

Catra’s eyes are wide as she shakes her head, almost uncomprehendingly.

“Hmm. I thought the Subaru made it obvious enough,” she says, slapping her car’s center console. “No wonder I haven’t been on a date in years.” Mara laughs at her own joke in a very Adora-like manner, which is enough to make Catra giggle and break the tension.

“I feel so stupid,” Catra mutters, wiping at her eyes. “Falling for a straight girl.”

“Well, the heart has its reasons which reason knows not,” Mara says sagely.

Catra snorts. “That’s not a bad line.”

“You like it? It’s, uh, Pascal, I think.”

“The pressure guy? Huh, didn’t realize that nerd was a romantic,” Catra muses.

“No, I’m pretty sure he died unmarried. I don’t think that line was about love, anyway.”

Catra giggles, then sighs. “Did it ever happen to you? Wanting someone you can’t have?”

“It happens to everyone, Catra. It’s just a normal part of growing up,” Mara said lightly.

Catra picks at her fingernails nervously. “I’m not sure she… even wants to be friends with me right now.” If Mara has figured out who Catra is talking about, her expression doesn’t show it. Knowing that the only adult she can talk to about this stuff is Adora’s guardian makes Catra feel even _more_ pathetic, if that’s possible.

“Well, that’s different. You can patch things up whether she likes you back or not, right?” Mara’s asks, encouragingly.

Catra nods. She wants to say more, but she doesn’t want Mara to figure it out if she hasn’t already. “Thanks, Mara,” she murmurs. “I feel a lot better.”

“No problem, kiddo. Do you want to wait for Adora and stay over tonight?”

Catra’s eyes widen a little. Maybe, by the grace of good fortune, Mara _hasn’t_ figured it out. She shakes her head. “No… that’s okay. I think I just wanna go home now.”

~~~

Going to the dance without Catra must have shattered a barrier, because Adora starts hanging out with her other friends after school more and more. She invites Catra to come along, at first, but Catra’s repeated refusals eventually cause even Adora’s unfailing optimism to flag.

Catra tells herself that she’s _glad_ when Adora finally stops asking her to hang out with stupid Lonnie and Octavia and whoever else she’s made friends with that week. It’s not like Adora’s friends want her there, anyway – Catra’s always just been Adora’s plus one. They’re probably happy, if anything, that they can monopolize Adora’s attention.

The summer after 7th grade, Adora decides to go to soccer camp. She doesn’t bother to ask Catra if she wants to come with her, but it’s not like Catra would have wanted to, anyway. Catra’s relieved, honestly – maybe two weeks apart would help her get over this stupid crush. Every time she thought she was getting over it before, Adora would flash her that dopey, honest smile or text her a reminder of some dumb inside joke and it would set Catra’s heart on fire all over again.

She hates herself, a little, for not having the guts to just confess her feelings to Adora so that one way or another, she could get over it, but she just…. can’t. Even if Catra is just one among many for Adora, Catra can’t handle the thought of losing their friendship, so she chooses to keep it a secret. And hopefully someday, her crush will just… go away.

It doesn’t go away in 8th grade, though, and it doesn’t help that Adora keeps getting leaner in some places and… less lean in other places. Catra can’t help but notice her eyes lingering on her best friend more and more. For once, she’s glad Adora is an idiot – she’s way too oblivious to notice Catra’s all-too-obvious feelings. It doesn’t help that they have P.E. together, either.

The worst is the ballroom dance unit – Catra hates the way boys are falling over each other to ask Adora to dance with them while she’s stuck with Kenny. Not that she minds Kenny – after he “helped” her realize her feelings, she’s decided he’s not so bad, but Catra wishes _she_ could be the one asking Adora to dance with her. She wishes she could live in a world where her crush at least has a chance of liking her back.

As her feelings for Adora grow more and more desperately obvious (in her opinion), it becomes more and more clear to Catra that Adora doesn’t need her the way she needs Adora.

“Hey, Lonnie and Rogelio want to go to the mall tomorrow,” Adora asks after dinner on a Friday night. Catra is sleeping over again. “Wanna come with?”

Catra frowns. “I thought we were going to make that fancy broth from Mara’s cookbook. Didn’t you say that’ll take all afternoon?”

Adora blinks at Catra, as if she’d forgotten. “Oh, well… we can do that any weekend, right?”

“Oh. Yeah. I guess…” Catra trails off. Days she could spend with Adora without other friends getting in the way were becoming fewer and far between.

“Besides, it’s good for us, right? To have friends?”

Catra regards Adora carefully. For a second, Catra wonders if Adora figured out about Catra’s feelings and doesn’t want to be alone with her, but no – Adora is way too oblivious for that. No, this is the _other_ dumb thing that Adora, annoyingly _noble_ Adora always tries to do.

“I just remembered. I haven’t finished that essay for Lippinski’s class. You can go hang out with your friends tomorrow,” Catra mutters.

Adora gives her a hurt look. “But, I thought…”

“Just forget it, Adora.” Sometimes, Catra thinks, it feels like their friendship is a rubber band stretched to its very limit. Every day, she’s less and less sure Adora wants to keep it from snapping. 

~~~

“Oh, before you go,” Mr. Miller says at the end of homeroom, one Friday in the spring. “Is anyone planning on _not_ going to Espanto for high school? I have a form from the district that your parents will need to fill out.”

Adora raises her hand. She’s _pretty_ sure she wants to go to Hillview, because it has a bunch of AP classes and it actually has a good soccer team, unlike Espanto. She hadn’t brought it up with Mara yet, but she was sure Mara would say it’s fine. And Catra… she hadn’t mentioned it to Catra, either, but she would go with Adora, too, right?

As Mr. Miller hands her the form, Adora turns to look at Catra. Catra’s frowning at her, scratching at a knot of wood on the side of her desk. Adora pulls out her phone.

_Adora (8:37 AM): get a form!!_

_Catra (8:38 AM): since when were you planning on going to hillview?_

_Adora (8:38 AM): just been thinking bout it lately_

_Adora (8:39 AM): it’s a good school_

_Catra (8:40 AM): i feel like i would remember if you’d talked to me about it before._

_Adora (8:41 AM): we r talking about it now arent we?_

_Adora (8:41 AM): lets chat after school. ill make macaroni <3_

Adora smiles to herself. No matter what Catra is grumpy about, she can’t say no to macaroni and cheese. Adora sees the typing bubble appear, then disappear, then appear again.

_Catra (8:44 AM): k._

~~~

The bus ride home is uncomfortable – Catra spends most of it staring angrily out the window and huffing. Adora wants to say something to break the tension, but she can’t really think of what to say. She’s been getting a little tired of dealing with Catra’s hissy fits, anyway. Why can’t Catra just _say_ what her problem is?

“Catra…” Adora starts as soon as they cross the threshold.

“How long have you been thinking about this, Adora?” Catra asks. Her voice is low and steady. That’s something – at least she doesn’t sound mad, Adora thinks.

“Like I said, a couple of weeks. Octavia brought it up because Hillview has a good soccer team. I hadn’t really decided until a few days ago, though.”

“A _couple_ of weeks? A few days? Why is this only just coming up now?”

Adora frowns. “I just wanted to be sure before I told you, Catra.”

Catra scoffs. “Oh, thanks for waiting until you were _sure_ to tell me,” she says, her tone a little mocking. “What, did you think I’d just drop everything and go with you to Hillview?”

“What’s the problem, Catra?” Adora asks, raising her voice. “It’s a good school!”

“You seriously don’t get it? You can be _such_ an idiot sometimes, Adora!” Catra says, matching Adora’s intensity.

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I’m doing this, okay? Why won’t you just come with me?”

Catra turns away from Adora and scoffs derisively.

“You can be so frustrating sometimes, Catra! Why would you want to go to Espanto, anyway? It’s not like you…” She stops, eyes wide, the rest of the sentence dying on the tip of her tongue.

Catra mask of cold anger breaks and for a fleeting moment, Adora sees genuine hurt in her eyes. “God, I’m so stupid. Here I thought we were actually friends,” Catra mutters.

“Catra, I didn’t mean – “ Adora starts. But she _had_ thought it, hadn’t she? That if _she_ isn’t going to Espanto, Catra would follow her to Hillview?

“You’re my best friend, but I’m just your pet project. A charity case, right?” Catra stares at the floor, her voice hollow.

“No, Catra, you _are_ my best friend,” Adora whimpers. How was this going so wrong?

Catra snorts, but her eyes are cold. “This isn’t what ‘best friends’ do to each other, Adora. Admit it, you _pity_ me. You and your stupid hero complex couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor neglected girl in your class, right?”

“Catra, I don’t pity you! I-I didn’t mean to push you,” Adora stammers. “W-we can still be friends if you want to go to Espanto, okay?”

Catra’s eyes narrow meet Adora’s pleading gaze for a moment before her lips curl into a sneer. “No, we can’t.” Catra fishes her cell phone out of her pocket. “Tell Mara she can stop feeling sorry for me, too.”

Catra throws her phone at Adora and, before Adora can figure out what words to say, if there even _are_ any words that could fix this, Catra is gone, slamming the door behind her.

~~~

The next day, Catra gets called to the guidance counselor’s office during homeroom. _Bet they got some shrink to ask me why I have no friends_. Her anger at Adora hasn’t faded since their fight, and Catra is more convinced than ever that Adora _did_ want to ditch her but couldn’t bring herself to tell Catra to her face because Adora was just too goddamn _nice_. It’s not like Adora had tried to reach out to Catra since their fight, aside from sad glances in the hallway and in class.

“Your mother said you forgot your lunch at home. She has it in the second room down the hall,” the receptionist says to Catra without sparing her a second look.

_Wait. My mother?_

Catra’s pace quickens she walks down the hall. Her heart races a little as her mind fills with questions – why would her mother be here? Bringing her _lunch_ , of all things?

“Mom?” Catra says as she flings the door to the room open. “Oh. It’s you.” She can’t help but let her face fall.

Mara is sitting in the guidance room, holding a brown paper bag on her lap. “Catra…” she starts.

There are a thousand questions rolling around Catra’s brain, but one of the least important is the first one out of Catra’s mouth. “How’d you convince the office that you’re my mom?”

Mara smiles thinly. “By taking advantage of assumptions?” she chuckles, holding up her forearm. Mara is right – she and Catra share brown hair and dark skin. “This helped, too,” she said, handing the lunch bag to Catra. “I made it myself,” Mara says, a touch nervously. “I hope you like it.”

Catra opens the bag and looks inside. There’s half of a sliced apple and a container of macaroni and cheese. It looks like it has broccoli and bacon bits in it. Her eyes burn as she sets her expression and speaks up. “I don’t need this, Mara. You know that Adora and I aren’t friends anymore, right?”

Mara shakes her head, frowning slightly. “Did you bring lunch today?”

“…No.”

Mara gives her a soft look. “Catra, I’m not going to let my – let you go hungry just because you’re fighting with my cousin.”

Catra nods, dumbly. _Why was Mara still being kind to her? Hadn’t Adora told her what Catra had said?_

“Now, will you please take this back?” Mara asks as she pulls Catra’s cell phone out of her jacket pocket. “If you ever get into trouble… I’d just feel better if you had it, okay?”

Seeing the phone is enough to turn the burning into hot tears, flowing unbidden down her cheeks. Mara pulls her into an embrace and strokes her hair softly. “I-it was really bad, Mara. I said some really terrible things to her,” she manages between sobs.

“Did you mean them?” Mara asks quietly after a minute.

“No! I don’t know. Some of them,” Catra murmurs raggedly. That was the part that made her stomach wrench to think about – that she _had_ meant some of the things she’d said, and she was sure that Adora had meant some of what she’d said, too. Just saying sorry wasn’t going to make things go back to how they were before. “Why are you still being nice to me?” she asks, feeling pathetic.

Mara sighs and hugs Catra tighter. “Everyone deserves love, Catra.” Catra nods, sniffling a little. She may have fucked up her friendship with Adora Gray, but somehow she hadn’t pushed away the closest thing to a loving mother she’d ever had. Not that _she_ had anything to do with it, she thought bitterly. Catra suspects that Mara could find it in her to love just about anyone.

In the end, Catra does take her phone back, but refuses to let Mara keep paying for it. Mara makes her promise to buy a pre-paid SIM and to call her immediately if Catra ever needs anything. Catra still doesn’t understand, at first, why Mara does all these things for her even though Catra’s just some ex-friend of Adora’s who ate Mara’s food, but eventually she gets it. Mara isn’t just a good person, she’s Good, like the heroes in fairytales. Her goodness is why she took Adora in despite being freshly out of college, ready to start her own life, and it’s why she took Catra in like a second daughter without a second thought.

 _I don’t deserve her_ , Catra thinks the first time Mara drops produce off at her house after the fight. Her own mother can hardly muster the attention to make sure Catra isn’t doing drugs, and her ex-best friend’s _cousin_ is still making sure she eats her vegetables like she’s still seven years old.

Catra gets her first job washing dishes the day she turns 15 and tells Mara she can take care of her own food after that. She still hasn’t made up with Adora. They haven’t spoken since Adora went to Hillview for high school and left Catra behind at Espanto High. She’s not _mad_ at Adora anymore, exactly, but it still feels like their fight crossed lines that couldn’t be uncrossed. She doesn’t really feel like Adora needs to apologize, but Catra doesn’t feel like _she_ should apologize, either, which makes it all the more difficult to reach out.

Instead of making herself frustrated by mulling over the fight, Catra tries to let herself get swept up in high school life. Honestly, she thrives – she actually tries to make a few new friends, she joins a club, and her mother more or less ignores her for four years. It’s easier than she thinks and it’s effective – by keeping busy, she doesn’t have time to dwell on Adora.

She discovers her passion for chemistry (well, it’s more that her passion for fire evolves into a career interest) and she does well enough in school to get a scholarship to the big state school in the bay. Even though she can’t bring herself to reach out to Adora, she calls Mara from time to time, just to let her know that she’s doing well and to fill her in on how things are going. Mara always picks up. Every now and again, Catra almost wants Mara to put Adora on the line, but she can never bring herself to ask.

Eventually, enough time passes that she remembers her idyllic years growing up with Adora with fond nostalgia. Her life isn’t worse now. It’s probably better, if she had to pick, but it’d be _even_ better with Adora by her side. Catra sees Adora one more time before they graduate high school, on the local news. She’s giving a postgame interview after the state soccer championships. Catra’s heart twinges as she looks at her former friend, face flushed with victory.

“That was senior team captain Adora Gray after leading the Hillview Rebels to victory for their very first state championship,” the reporter says. “All of us back home will be keeping an eye on her college career with the Kirkland Cardinals.

 _So that’s that, then._ Adora would be going to a fancy private school for college and Catra would be at the flagship state school across the bay. It occurs to Catra that if her life was like one of those dumb movies that Adora used to like, she and Adora would reconnect the summer before college, make up, and live happily ever after.

But her life isn’t a storybook, so they don’t. Despite living less than an hour away from Adora, Catra doesn’t reach out to her in college, and Adora returns the favor. Once Catra’s anger fades, it hurts to know that she’s no longer in Adora’s orbit and Adora isn’t in hers, but even that pain fades into nostalgic regret as the years pass. She thinks of her first love less and less frequently, from often in high school, to once in a while in college, to almost not at all as an adult.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!
> 
> Just kidding, just kidding. I've been trying to resolve the angst by the end of each chapter, but this chapter had to end with their big fight. 
> 
> Cheese water is actually good as a soup stock, by the way! If you like French onion soup, I think you'll also like the soup Adora was making. It's from the Modernist Cuisine at Home. Oh, and bonus points for anyone who guesses the IRL locations that their schools are inspired by.


	4. Chapter 4

Adora Gray tries to thinks of herself as someone who doesn’t spend much time dwelling on the past. She has everything she’s ever wanted, after all – dear friends, an interesting _and_ well-paying job, and a close relationship with her only family and mother figure. Even better, she’s just finished submitting her grad school applications, so her future is much more cheerful to think about than a childhood tinged with regret.

Despite all that, Adora finds herself walking into the fifth grocery store of the afternoon on a hunt for the ingredients for her favorite childhood comfort. Afternoon is putting it generously – the shadows the cars cast on the parking lot asphalt are getting long as the sky turns from blue to orange. She is not sure why she’s so desperate to find sodium citrate that she’s in the “fancy” supermarket on the other side of the bay. All knows is that tonight, she desperately craves macaroni and cheese just like how Mara made it when she was a kid.

There’s something else about making macaroni and cheese that she’s nostalgic for, too.

The grocery store is relatively empty. As she walks through the aisles, Adora idly muses that most people probably have better things to do on a Saturday night than going grocery shopping. She wishes she had brought something warmer than her thin cardigan, but she hadn’t really expected to find herself in the East Bay when she left her apartment today. It never _really_ gets warm here, even in the summer.

Would sodium citrate be in the baking aisle? One of the ethnic sections? Eventually, she gives up looking on her own and asks an employee to point it out to her.

“Just down this aisle, ma’am,” the red-vested employee says, pointing. “Right about there.”

As she thanks him, Adora wonders when she became a “ma’am” to the service industry. Sure, she is not _young_ anymore – she’ll be 30 in a few months, but ‘ma’am’ is pushing it, right?

She looks at the spot the employee pointed out, which is currently occupied by a woman who is conveniently pulling a small bag of sodium citrate off the shelf. She’s cute – loose, fluffy curls in a sort-of pixie cut and a swarthy complexion. _A_ _little like what Catra would look like with short hair_ , she thinks.

She snorts to herself – she is clearly in a reminiscent mood to be thinking about Catra _and_ making her childhood comfort food. It’s been nearly sixteen years – Adora wonders if Catra is living it up on the East Coast or is still stuck in their hometown or somewhere else altogether. She feels a bit guilty that she doesn’t know.

The woman bears more than just a passing resemblance to Catra, though – she’s wearing a too-big punk band t-shirt tucked into dark high-waisted jeans and white sneakers, which is an outfit that Adora would guess an adult Catra would wear. The woman puts the bag in her shopping cart and turns toward Adora, startling her. Why is she checking out random women in a grocery store, anyway? Adora averts her eyes, hoping the woman didn’t catch her, and then -

“Adora? Is that you?”

She feels like a deer in headlights as her gaze meets the other woman’s. Blue and golden-brown. Catra was always the prettiest girl Adora knew, but she has grown into a beautiful woman. No longer a gangly kid, her every feature, from the sharp line of her jaw to her slender forearms to the gentle slope of her nose, seems artfully placed.

Catra’s frozen, like she’s just missed a step walking down the stairs. Adora’s mind races as she thinks of better conversation openers than just dumbly saying Catra’s name again. Just play it cool, like she doesn’t even remember their fight? Or should she be brusque? Or…

“Um, hey, Catra!” Adora says and her voice sounds a little shrill, even to her. “So, um, have any kids?” _Fuck,_ she thinks. _That was the_ stupidest _option._

To Adora’s credit, Catra bursts out laughing. Honestly, it goes on a little too long – Adora finds herself almost irritated by the time Catra’s done wiping tears from her eyes. “Seriously, Adora? The first time we see each other in half a lifetime and _that’s_ your first question?”

“I panicked, okay!” Adora says but giggles a little after a pause. “I didn’t expect to run into you here,” she says, waving her hands a little.

“Oh. Yeah, uh, I live a little way down the road. You around here, too?” Catra responds, scratching the back of her neck. Her mirth has faded, and while Adora’s terrible opener did break the ice, the weight of everything left unspoken between them is uncomfortably palpable. 

“No, I live in the city. That’s lucky for you, though, this place looks like it has great produce. I just ended up down here because I really needed sodium citrate,” Adora says, gesturing at the bags of it on the shelf.

Catra grabs a bag of it off the shelf and tosses it to Adora. “Guess you can’t get this stuff at a normal grocery store, huh? You can just buy it off Amazon, though, dummy.”

Adora bristles a tiny bit at how familiar Catra is being, but she also feels a pang of nostalgia. “I couldn’t wait! I woke up this morning with a hankering for Mara’s mac and cheese, okay?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Catra smirks at Adora. “You’re still a kid eating the same junk food you did when you were six years old.”

Adora frowns, but then breaks into a knowing grin. “And what are you using it for, miss oh-so-adult?” she asks, pointing to the bag in Catra’s own cart.

Catra blushes and looks away. “Fine, you got me. I can’t help it if Mara’s recipe literally makes the best stovetop mac and cheese, can I?”

Adora giggles. “Yeah.”

“Well…” Catra says, clearing her throat as she rolls her cart back and forth a little. “I guess I’ll see you around?”

Adora nods, but Catra lingers for a moment before pushing her cart away. Adora isn’t ready for her to leave, anyway.

“Hey, Catra? Do you maybe want to catch up sometime?”

Catra’s eyes are wide, like she’s considering running, but she nods dumbly.

“Would it be crazy if sometime was dinner? Tonight? I’ve been working on my own recipe.”

Catra gaze flickers between her half-filled shopping cart and Adora’s face.

“Sure, I guess I have no plans. But this is only because I want to taste your ‘new’ mac and cheese, okay?”

~~~

Catra insists on going home to drop her groceries off, which gives Adora a little time to organize – ever since Bow and Glimmer had their kid, she hasn’t had too many visitors at home and her usually-confined bedroom mess has become a living room mess and a kitchen mess, as well. She has only _just_ finished shoving a hamper full of clean but unfolded laundry into her bedroom closet when she hears a knock on her door.

Adora opens the door, a little breathless. “Catra! Hey!” She pushes a loose lock of hair behind her ear and gives Catra what is hopefully only a slightly manic smile.

“…Hey,” Catra says hesitantly. “I, uh, brought some wine.” She hands Adora a bottle of Chardonnay from a local winery.

“Thanks,” Adora murmurs, turning the bottle over in her hands. Catra looks older, of course, but in a good way, Adora thinks. Nothing like the furious 13-year-old girl who had stormed out of Adora’s house. Not much like her former best friend, either, even on their best days.

“You going to invite me in?” Catra asks, scratching her forearm.

“Oh! Yes! Please.” Adora blushes, stepping back to let Catra through the door. “I, um, didn’t have time to get started on dinner.”

Catra chuckles. “As if I haven’t watched you cook plenty of times before.”

Adora strides back into the kitchen and puts a pot of water on heat before fishing a bottle opener out of one of the drawers. “Should I open this now?” Catra’s still standing in the living room. “Um, you can sit down?”

Catra starts, shaking her head a little. “Yeah, sure. I might need it, anyway,” Catra says. Adora frowns, but Catra walks into the kitchen and leans against the counter near the sink, which feels like an olive branch, of sorts.

“Um…” Adora trails off as she uncorks the wine and pours two glasses. What could she say to Catra, anyway? What does one say to their ex-best friend who hates them? Well, maybe not anymore – but hated, at one point.

“Um.” Catra agrees, taking a glass from Adora. Adora breathes a relieved sigh. At least she’s not the _only_ one at a loss for words. She grabs the block of Comte cheese and starts grating.

 _Let’s start simple_. Adora takes a centering breath and flashes Catra an encouraging smile. “So… what do you do now? For work, I mean.”

Catra gives Adora a look and chuckles. “I work at the government lab back in town. I make, uh, ‘high-energy molecules.’ That’s the PR term, I think.”

Adora furrows her brow as she shakes a box of pasta shells into the boiling water. She thinks back to high school chemistry. “High-energy molecules? Does that mean…?”

“You’ll need a security clearance for details, but yeah. I make things that go boom,” Catra smirks, miming an explosion with her hands.

Adora giggles, shaking her head. “Unsurprising, you little firebug. You always were the smart one out of the two of us.”

“Not exactly a high bar,” Catra teases. “What about you?”

“I just started a job in business operations for a tech company in the city, but I was doing management consulting until recently.”

“Consulting? Just like Mara, huh?” Catra asks.

“Yeah…” she trails off. “All part of my life plan, I guess.”

“Life plan?”

“Get a degree in statistics, become a consultant, work for a few years, go back to school for an MBA… you know me.”

Catra gives Adora a strangely wistful look. “I guess I don’t.”

Adora shakes her head. “I just… Mara gave up a lot for me. I just want to do something worthwhile so that she doesn’t think it was a waste.”

Catra snorts. “Adora, I sat next to Mara during your soccer games. She’s proud of you no matter what you do.”

Adora gives Catra a wry smile before sprinkling the citrate salt into a saucepan of hot milk. “I guess so…”

“How’s she doing, by the way?”

“Huh? Oh, Mara? She’s good! She met someone, actually,” Adora said, whisking the cheese into the milk.

Catra gave Adora a genuine smile. “I’m happy for her. She deserves that much, at least. What’s her name?”

“Hope. And yeah, Mara will be glad to know we ran into each other, actually…” Adora trails off, smiling to herself. “Hey, how did you know? That she met a woman?”

“Well, she did _tell_ me that she’s a lesbian in, like, 8th grade,” Catra snickers.

“She told _you_?” Adora shoots Catra a disbelieving look. Mara hadn’t even told _Adora_ until she came out herself. Why would she tell Catra so much earlier?

Curiously, Catra blushes deeply. “Um, well, uh.” She fidgets uncomfortably. “I came out to her and she mentioned it. It helped a lot.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Adora turns back to the cheese sauce. “You – you didn’t tell me.” Is it wrong that she feels sad about that? Catra had no _obligation_ to tell her! But hadn’t they been close, once?

Catra chuckles, a little darkness creeping into her raspy voice. “Trust me, I tried _really_ hard to make sure you didn’t know.” Adora gives her a look that _must_ have a little hurt in it, because Catra quickly backtracks. “I didn’t tell _anyone_ , Adora. I was going to tell you, but…” she turns her hands up plaintively at Adora, who thinks she understands.

“Yeah,” she nods. _But then you hurt me, or I hurt you, or something happened that I still only partially understand, and we never spoke again_. “Well, you just did, so thanks. For telling me, I mean.” Adora says, straining the pasta.

Catra nods but changes the subject. “It smells good. What’s different about the recipe, anyway?”

Adora pours the pasta into the cheese sauce and divides it into two bowls. “The cheese!” she says as she carries the bowls to the dining table. “I use a mix of Comte and cheddar now.”

“What’s Comte?” Catra asks, taking a seat across from Adora.

“It’s like a mild gruyere, I guess?” Adora says, spooning a bite into her mouth. “It gives it a nice depth, I think.”

“Look at you,” Catra snickers, but her eyes widen as she takes her first bite. “This _is_ good!”

“Well, I stand on the shoulders of giants,” Adora giggles. It was surprisingly easy getting back into the rhythm of small talk with Catra, but there is still the elephant in the room keeping them at a distance from one another. Adora isn’t sure she wants to broach that topic tonight, though. “So you did your PhD in Chemistry, I’m guessing? What about before that?”

“I actually went to the state school in town for undergrad. I wanted to come back here after grad school, though, so here I am.”

She’s on the precipice of a whole host uncomfortable topics, she can tell. “And… high school? How was that?”

Catra grimaces a little, but responds. “It was good, actually. I… made some friends. My college roommate, actually, and one of my other best friends. How about you?”

 _Best friends_. It hurts Adora a little to hear Catra use that phrase to describe somebody else, but she knows that she doesn’t have any right to it anymore. “Um, it was good. I played a lot of soccer, which got me into Kirkland. Even won the state championships,” she says, doing a mini fist pump.

“Yeah, I know.”

“You do?”

“You were on the local news for like a week in senior year. I had no choice _but_ to know,” Catra chuckles, taking a sip of wine. “Not a bad pairing,” she muses.

Adora blushes. “Oh, yeah, I remember that. Mara kept all the newspaper clippings, too,” she giggles. “It would have been more fun with you,” she adds, quietly.

“Huh?”

“High school, I meant. It was fun, but… I missed you, Catra,” Adora admits.

“Oh. Yeah. I – I missed you, too.” Catra murmurs, avoiding Adora’s gaze.

Adora giggles. “Getting you to admit you liked me was like pulling teeth in middle school! I guess you have grown up, Catra.”

“God, you’re just as annoying as I remember,” Catra says, rolling her eyes. “I take it back; I didn’t miss you at all.”

“Too late! I’ll remember it forever!” Adora says. Maybe they couldn’t undo the mistakes they’d made in middle school, but they are different now, Adora thinks. Maybe this is serendipity, a second chance from the universe to be friends.

At the end of the evening, Adora drives Catra back to the train station. “A Subaru, huh?” Catra muses as she gets into Adora’s car.

“Mara says they’re reliable! And the four-wheel drive is great for going up to the mountains,” Adora replies, a little defensively.

“Oh, no doubt,” Catra smirks at Adora as if she’s enjoying a private joke. “Hey, um, thanks for dinner.”

“Thanks for coming. I…” Adora trails off. There are a thousand things she wants to express to Catra. _I missed you. I hated growing up without you. It broke me when you left me._ “I’m glad we ran into each other,” she decides on saying.

Catra nods and her eyes flick to Adora’s a little nervously as the train station comes into view. “Hey, um. Thursday.”

“Thursday?” Adora asks.

“I owe you a dinner. Come over Thursday.”

Catra is giving Adora an anxious look. _Could she be as nervous as I am?_

Adora nods and gives Catra a grin. “Yeah! Okay. I’ll see you then, Dr. Weaver.”

Catra rolls her eyes, but Adora can tell she's smiling as she slams the car door. 

~~~

Thursday, unfortunately, is days away and the prospect of seeing Catra again sends Adora’s anxiety through the roof. Bow, as supportive as he usually is, doesn’t seem to understand the crisis Adora is going through.

“So she invited you over for dinner?” Bow asks. “What are you worried about? It sounds like she wants to be friends again!”

Adora flexes her fingers nervously. “Yeah, I guess I’m just nervous that I’ll mess it up again.”

Bow gives Adora a puzzled look. “What happened between you two, anyway? You said you were friends in middle school, right?”

“I’m still not sure. We were drifting apart for a while in 8th grade, but when I told her I wanted to go to a high school outside of our district, we had a huge fight and we haven’t spoken since.”

“You know,” Bow says. “You could just _ask_ her?”

Adora shakes her head. “I mean, I will! But honestly, it doesn’t even really matter anymore, right? It’s a dumb fight we had as kids. I don’t even really remember who was wrong. I just want to try and be friends again.”

Bow gives her an encouraging look. “Well, it sounds like she’s trying to do the same, right? She wouldn’t have invited you over if she didn’t want to bury the hatchet. Don’t psyche yourself out, Adora.”

“Easier said than done, Bow. For me, anyway,” Adora says, fidgeting. “Anyway, how’s the baby? Almost three months now, right?”

“Sooo cute, Adora. It’s like she’s a different baby every week, though. We _almost_ feel like we’ve figured out her sleep schedule and then by the next week she’s doing something new. But I managed to get seven hours of sleep last night! Well, Angie woke us up three times, but it’s still counts as seven hours, right?”

Adora eyes the bags under Bow’s eyes. “Uh, yeah! Totally…”

She doesn’t mind letting Bow monologue a bit about being a new parent, especially when it’s about a baby as cute as Angie. Parenting, marriage, and all that still feels awfully far off to Adora, even though most of her friends have paired off and settled down. It’s not that she _wants_ to be single, but she’s never given dating much thought compared to her career. There are still things that she has to do before the “finding a girlfriend” phase of her life plan. If it worked for Mara, it would work for her, right?

~~~

On her drive over to Catra’s apartment, Adora realizes that it might be polite to bring a bottle of wine or something. She doesn’t _love_ wine and she doesn’t actually know what Catra is planning on making for dinner, anyway, so she stops at a gas station just off of Catra’s highway exit and grabs a sixpack of some imported Kolsch. Beer pretty much goes with anything, right?

“Adora!” Catra exclaims when she opens the door, as if she’s surprised that Adora showed up. “Come in.”

Adora gives Catra a smile as she steps into her apartment. It’s simply furnished, which doesn’t really surprise Adora. Catra had never been one to hoard things she didn’t think were useful. “I like your place,” she says, cracking a beer open with her keychain bottle opener. “Very, uh, modern.”

Catra snorts. “Thanks, I think.”

Given that they got the major “catching up” topics out of the way last time, Adora’s not really sure what to say. “So… what’s for dinner?”

“I thought we could have tacos. I made carnitas,” Catra says.

“Ooh!” Adora’s eyes light up. That _does_ sound good. “Do you need any help?”

Catra shakes her head. “Just go sit down,” she points to her dining table.

Adora takes a seat and takes in the spread. Catra had clearly spent some time putting this together, which makes Adora feel a little happy. There’s a big bowl of pork carnitas and a number of toppings, like shredded cilantro and chopped onions. Adora eyes the sour cream hungrily – it may not be the _most_ traditional, but she can pretty much eat anything topped with sour cream. Catra brings out two dishes, each plated with three corn tortillas, and passes one to Adora.

“This looks delicious, Catra! I’m pretty impressed,” Adora says as she spoons some pork into one of the tortillas.

“Don’t sound too surprised.” Catra gives Adora a familiar smirk as she follows Adora’s lead.

“I’m not, I’m not,” Adora says, taking a bite. “Mmm. How long did all this take?”

“An hour or two,” Catra says between bites.

“Really? Don’t you have to slow cook carnitas for hours and hours?”

“Or just pressure cook them for an hour,” Catra shrugs.

“Aww, and here I thought you tried really hard to impress me,” Adora teases.

Catra blushes and looks away. Adora feels a _little_ bad for teasing Catra. “I’m just giving you hard time, Catra. This is really good.”

“Thanks,” Catra mutters, but her cheeks stay red. “So, um…”

Adora chews in silence for a beat. “This is a little awkward, isn’t it?”

Catra’s face falls. “You’re right. Sorry, I shouldn’t have – “

“No, Catra. It’s okay. It doesn’t _have_ to be awkward,” Adora says, giving Catra an encouraging smile. “Just… we should talk about _it_ , right?”

Catra freezes for a moment, then swallows. “Y – yeah.”

And then – “I’m sorry!” Adora and Catra exclaim simultaneously.

“Y-you’re…?” Catra stammers.

Adora fingers flex around her knees, almost painful. “I’m still not 100% sure what I did, Catra, but I _did_ take it for granted that you’d come to Hillview with me and that was really unfair. I’m sorry.”

Catra nods and takes a deep breath. “I… overreacted. A lot. I was mad about that, yeah. But it wasn’t fair for me to pull the ‘we’re not friends anymore’ card without even telling you why I was mad. I regretted it a lot.”

“It’s okay, Catra. It hurt, but we’re here now, right?” Adora says encouragingly. “Wait… you regretted it?”

Catra nods.

“Then why…?” _Why didn’t you call?_

Catra swallows uncomfortably. “I didn’t want to talk to you, Adora. For my sake.”

Adora wilts. “Oh. I see,” she says curtly.

“No, Adora…”

Despite herself, Adora feels her eyes water. “Well, it’s okay if you hated me, Catra.”

“I didn’t hate you, Adora!” Catra knuckles white as her fingers grip the edge of the table. She inhales slowly and closes her eyes, then exhales. “Look, I should have told you this back then. I needed to not talk to you because I had a huge crush on you and I needed time to get over it, okay?”

 _Wait, what?_ “You… what? Me? _You_ had a crush on me?” Adora asks dumbly.

Catra snickers shakily. “It wasn’t because of your way with words, dummy.” Her eyes dim a little. “Sorry if that grosses you out.”

 _The prettiest and smartest girl in the whole school liked_ me _?_ Adora felt her cheeks turn pink at the thought. “Gross me out? Why would I be grossed out?”

“You know, because you’re not… into women. You were my best friend, and I was lusting after you all that time.”

“Oh, no, Catra. I’m – I also like girls,” Adora giggles. “Wait, lusting?”

Catra turns bright red. “I’m an idiot. I’m such an idiot,” she groans, staring at the ceiling. "Can we talk about something else now? Please?”

Adora wants to ask more questions - how come you didn't tell me? What made you like me in the first place? The prospect of asking feels dangerous, like the questions may topple the house of cards that is their fledgling friendship, so she lets them go. Their conversation veers back to lighter topics, like an explosive chemical Catra worked with that day and how much Adora hates the marketing team at her new job. Adora devours five entire tacos and spends fifteen minutes after they finish eating complaining about how full her belly is.

“Oh, it’s already almost 10?” Adora asks, glancing at Catra’s wall clock. “I should get going.”

“Right. Yeah,” Catra says, standing up. “Thanks for coming, Adora. It… felt good to talk about all that stuff.”

“Yeah, it was nice. I’m glad we did this,” Adora says, opening Catra’s front door. “So…” Adora lingers in the doorway.

“Mm.” Catra gazes into Adora’s eyes with an almost pleading look.

“Um… my old roommates are having a housewarming on Sunday. Do you want to come with?” Adora asks.

“Oh. Uh. Why?” Catra asks, looking a little surprised.

“You should meet the rest of my friend group, right? Now… now that we’re friends again?”

Catra lowers her face, but nods. “Yeah. We’re friends again.”

~~~

The next morning, Catra wakes up after one of her most restful sleeps in years. It’s not that her fight with Adora had been weighing on her conscience for the last fifteen-and-a-half years, _certainly_ not – but something about righting her past wrongs feels good. Entrapta doesn’t seem all that excited for her when Catra tells her about it at work, but she just _knows_ Scorpia and Perfuma will be more enthused, so she arranges brunch with them on Saturday.

“You ran into Adora at the grocery store?” Scorpia asks with stars in her eyes. “This must be fate, wildcat!”

“Adora? Like, Adora Gray?” Perfuma asks, furrowing her brow.

Catra nods. “What, do you know her?” Catra hadn’t met Perfuma until she and Scorpia had started dating a few years ago. Apparently, Perfuma had met Scorpia at a summer program in undergrad, but hadn’t reconnected until Perfuma moved to the Bay.

“Yes! Well, I knew one of her friends, Bow, at Kirkland. _She’s_ the childhood friend you’ve been pining for?” Perfuma asks.

Catra blushes. “I haven’t been _pining_. I mean, I did like her like that back then, but I just… regretted the way I handled things.”

“Well, I am _so_ happy for you, Catra. Are you going to hang out again?” Scorpia asks before shoving a forkful of potatoes into her mouth.

“Yeah, she invited me to some housewarming party tomorrow.”

Perfuma and Scorpia share a knowing look. “Do you still like her?” Perfuma asks.

“We’re over twice as old as we were the last time we spoke. We’re different people now. At least, I like to think that _I_ am, anyway.” Catra mutters.

Perfuma reaches across the table and pats Catra’s hand. “I didn’t know you back then, but you’re a wonderful person now, Catra. I’m sure she’ll fall for you.”

“Yeah, you got this, wildcat!”

Catra turns bright red and stares at her lap. “I’m not trying to – ugh, why do I even hang out with you two?”

~~~

Adora texts Catra that she’s heading over to her friends’ place early to help set up, so Catra ends up taking an Uber to the address Adora gave her. She’s still grumbling about having to spend 30 bucks to get to a party for someone she doesn’t even know when she rings the doorbell. Whoever Adora’s friends are, they must be well-off to have a proper house in the city.

She wonders what sort of people even bother to buy a house in this real estate market – the old rich, maybe? Refined and elegant and drowning in money, probably. The thought makes her nervous – she starts rubbing at a food stain on the cuff of her jacket. Obviously she wants to make a good impression on Adora’s friends, but what if they just automatically hate her because she’s middle class?

Whatever Catra is imagining, she’s surprised when a short woman with bright pink hair and a mauve sweatsuit answers the door. She regards Catra through what appears to be a thick haze of exhaustion.

“Hey. I’m Catra. Adora’s friend? Here for the housewarming?” she says, raising her gift bag-bearing hand. 

There’s a flicker of recognition in her eyes. “Oh! Catra. I’m Glimmer. Come in, come in,” she says, giving Catra a tired smile. “ADORA! Your friend is here!” she shouts, making Catra wince a little.

Catra hears heavy footsteps pounding down the staircase and sees Adora’s flushed face come into view. “Catra! You came!” she says, drawing Catra into a hug. Catra tenses. Somehow, she'd forgotten how cuddly Adora could be. 

“I said I would, didn’t I?” Catra says as she pulls away from Adora. She turns to Glimmer. “I didn’t know if you guys drink whisky, but I thought this would make an alright gift,” she says, pulling a bottle of Japanese whisky from her gift bag.

“Yes! I mean, we probably can’t really enjoy this for a while, but it’s been _so_ long since I had anything hard to drink. _Thank you_ ,” she says seriously, taking Catra’s hands in her own and squeezing them.

“Uh. You’re welcome?” Catra says, giving Adora a look. She wasn’t really prepared for this much emotion today.

“Glimmer’s a little delirious,” Adora says, giving Glimmer a sympathetic look. “The baby’s been keeping her and Bow up all night.”

“There’s a baby?” Catra asks nervously.

Adora nods enthusiastically. “Angie is adorable! Come on!” She takes Catra by the hand and pulls her into the living room. “This is Bow, by the way,” she says, gesturing at a tall man who is presumably Glimmer’s husband.

“Nice crop top,” Catra says, smirking. “Catra, by the way. Nice to meet you.” She extends a hand to Bow, who gives it a brief shake before returning to rocking the tiny baby in his arms.

“Quiet!” he whispers. “She only _just_ fell sleep.”

Catra regards the bags under his eyes with pity. “You guys are brave,” she says quietly, her eyes getting big as she looks at the baby. “Not sure I could handle the whole parenting thing.”

Bow closes his eyes as he bounces Angie in his arms. “Don’t tell Glimmer, but I wasn’t 100% sure we were ready, either. But we have her here, now, and it’s not _that_ difficult. Exhausting, of course, but it’s not, like, confusing.” Bow adds when he sees Catra’s arched eyebrow. “I guess what I mean is that you can always be more ready, but you might already be ready enough.”

Catra tilts her head a little, but she thinks she gets it. Mara probably had also not been 100% sure about taking Adora in, but she committed to doing it and turned out to be a great parent to Adora _and_ Catra.

“What are you thinking about?” Adora whispers, sidling up to Catra.

“Just thinking about Mara. It must have been a hard decision to take you in. She was way younger than we are now, right?” Catra murmurs.

Adora gets a faraway look in her eyes and smiles at Angie. “Yeah. She had just finished undergrad when my parents died,” she says softly. “I owe her a lot.”

Catra snorts, but takes Adora’s hand in her own and gives it a brief squeeze. “We both do.”

Even if they are having a moment, which Catra denies, it’s lost when they hear the doorbell ring again and hear a bunch of voices from outside.

“Come on, I want to introduce you,” Adora says excitedly. Catra rolls her eyes at Adora’s enthusiasm, but follows along obediently.

Of all of Adora’s college friends, Catra likes Mermista in particular – she has a wry sense of humor that Catra finds very relatable – but they all seem nice. Catra’s a little surprised that someone like Sea Hawk (who even insists on going by a nickname like Sea Hawk?) managed to get _into_ Kirkland in the first place, but she isn’t in charge of their admissions committee.

“Your friends are pretty cool,” Catra says after the party as Adora drives the nearest subway station. “You know, for Kirkland snobs.”

Adora giggles, clear and light. “I’m glad you like them. I was worried they wouldn’t be cool enough for you.”

“For me?” Catra asks incredulously. When they were in middle school, Adora and her friends were always way more popular than Catra – _she_ was the unsociable black sheep of their lunch table. “Hey, my friend Scorpia has a board game night next Wednesday. You should come with.”

“Really?” Adora asks, looking at Catra with big eyes.

“Eyes on the road, Adora. And yeah, really.”

Adora nods enthusiastically, making her ponytail bob in an all-too-familiar manner. Catra lets out a quiet sigh. They had both grown in the intervening years, but Adora’s still the endearing and earnest girl whose awkward smiles Catra had fallen for as a kid. It’s dangerous, letting Adora back into her life like this. 

~~~

Adora is absolutely ecstatic to have Catra back in her life. Sure, it was a little awkward at first, but Catra seemed like she really had fun at Bow and Glimmer’s housewarming and had even invited Adora to meet her friends. Bow was been right all along – Catra wants to be friends again, too!

“You’re hanging out with her _again_ tomorrow?” Glimmer asks during their weekly Best Friend Squad hangout. They used to go out for dinner together, but baby Angie had put a stop to that. Adora is okay with it, though – looking at baby cuteness is a feast for her heart. “That’s what, three times in as many weeks?”

“Four times in two weeks,” Adora corrects quietly. “It’s fine, right? I’m just reconnecting with an old friend.”

“Friend, huh?” Glimmer asks, rolling her eyes.

To his credit, Bow is more diplomatic. “What Glimmer is _trying_ to say is that we’ve never seen you get so excited about a girl before.”

“Huh?” Adora says, suddenly confused. _Excited?_

Bow blinks at her, then gives Glimmer a look, who shrugs. “Adora…” Bow starts, then pauses. “When’s the last time you went on a date? With someone you actually like, not just something casual?”

“What does that…” Adora trails off. “Oh! We haven’t been going on dates, you guys!”

Glimmer snorts. “Does she know that? Catra’s got a real sapphic vibe.”

“Yes, duh. She told me that she had a crush on me in middle school, after all. She wouldn’t have told me that unless she was over it, obviously.” Adora said very matter-of-factly.

Bow isn’t one to be deterred though, even as he rocks a sleeping Angie in his arms. “Did that make you sad? When she told you that she’s over you?”

Adora isn’t sure. She’s still shocked that Catra had liked her in the first place – Catra is definitely out of Adora’s league, right? If Catra had confessed back then… “I – I don’t know," she admits quietly, "it was really exciting to know she had a crush on me.” 

“You can be so dense sometimes, Adora,” Glimmer chides. Before Adora can ask what she means, though, Angie wakes up with a start and starts crying at the top of her tiny lungs. By the time they figure out that she’s mad at her wet diaper AND hungry, Adora’s question is long forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was watching Always Be My Maybe for the first time while I was editing this chapter and I saw a lot of parallels to this story... well, in this chapter, anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

While Catra inviting Adora to meet her friends is exciting, Adora realizes that she isn’t actually good at any board games. What’s the last board game she even played? She played a few drunken rounds of Codenames in college, but she was _terrible_ at it, while Catra had always been good at games like Settlers of Catan and Monopoly when they were kids. Adora wants to do her best to try and avoid making Catra embarrassed of her, if possible. She knows, of course, that a friendly board game night isn’t actually _about_ winning, but Adora likes being good at things, and as a corollary, hates being bad at things.

God, she _hates_ being bad at things.

Her fretting ends up being for naught, however, when her phone buzzes as she pulls into her driveway on Wednesday afternoon.

_Catra (5:13 PM): sorry but i need to cancel tonight._

_Adora (5:15 PM): oh no! did something happen?_

_Catra (5:16 PM): woke up with a bad fever today. i might have the flu._

_Adora (5:17 PM): omg that sucks. do you want me to bring you food? Tylenol?_

_Catra (5:20 PM): no, dummy. you’ll just get sick, too._

_Adora (5:21 PM): what are you going to eat for dinner?_

_Catra (5:23 PM): idk. i’ll get some delivery or something._

_Adora: (5:25 PM): you need to eat healthier than that! can i at least bring you some soup?_

The typing bubble pops up, then disappears, then pops up again.

_Catra (5:30 PM): fine._

When they were kids, Catra was one to pretend she didn’t need any help when she was sick, but Adora knew she secretly liked being taken care of. To that end, Adora gets a _little_ carried away buying ingredients to make chicken soup from scratch, but she can use Catra’s pressure cooker to make it quickly enough and Catra deserves the best, after all.

“Hey, Adora. I thought you were bringing soup,” Catra murmurs weakly, eyeing the four bags of groceries Adora has brought to her apartment door. Adora feels a little bad for thinking that Catra looks cute when she’s sick.

“I’m going to _make_ soup, silly,” Adora says, hefting the bags into Catra’s apartment. “It’s guaranteed to cure colds in less than 10 days!”

“Colds don’t last that long, anyway, dummy,” Catra mumbles, following Adora to the kitchen.

“So long as you have my soup,” Adora giggles. “I just need your pressure cooker and a saucepan,” she says, pulling ingredients out of the grocery bags.

Catra points out the cabinets containing her cookware and Adora puts what she needs on the stovetop. “Do you need help?” Catra asks hoarsely.

“Catra, just rest and let me take care of you,” Adora says as she starts cubing pieces of chicken thigh.

Catra regards her carefully for a moment, then nods. “Okay. I’m gonna take a shower. I feel gross.”

Adora hums to herself as she sears the chicken pieces and adds broth and herbs to the pressure cooker. She has hundreds, if not thousands of out-of-focus memories of cooking with and for Catra, but at some point they had blurred together and it was hard to tell what had really happened and what memories were just constructions of things she _thinks_ might have happened, papered down over half-forgotten reality.

She ladles out a bowl of broth and puts in a few extra pieces of chicken, smiling to herself. Much like a cat, Catra had always preferred meat to vegetables. Just as she’s finished scooping egg noodles into the soup, Catra shuffles back out wearing clean pajamas. Her skin is pale and there are still bags under her eyes, but she looks cleaner, at least.

“Just in time,” Adora says. “Do you need me to feed you? Could be just like old times,” she giggles.

“I’d remember that,” Catra says, but there’s a faint smile on her face. “If it ever happened.”

Adora feels her cheeks redden a bit, but Catra takes the bowl from her hands. “There should be enough soup for tomorrow, too, okay? So I’ll just…”

“Stay here for a bit, Adora,” Catra mutters. “Have some soup, at least.”

“Yeah.” Adora fills up another bowl and follows Catra to her living room. “Okay.” She watches Catra carefully as she slurps her first spoonful of soup.

“This is good, Adora,” Catra says faintly. Her voice sounds a little clearer. “One of Mara’s recipes?”

Adora shakes her head. “My own, actually. Well, I mean, it’s from some website, but I added dill, so I pretty much invented it.”

Catra lets out a few short chuckles that turn into a coughing fit. “Don’t make me laugh right now.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Adora says before sipping her soup from the bowl. It _is_ good, Adora thinks, chest puffing with pride.

For a while, Catra’s silence is only broken by the sound of slurping and occasional sniffles. “Don’t think I’m ungrateful, Adora, but why are you being so nice to me?”

Adora frowns. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We’ve only just met again and…” she trails off. They had history, after all.

“But… you’re Catra,” Adora says, as if that explains everything.

Catra frowns at her soup, but her expression softens after a moment. “That really clears it up,” she mutters, but her sunken eyes contain a flicker of playfulness. “How was work today?”

Catra is clearly done with talking-about-feelings time, Adora thinks, so she launches into a story about the product she’s been managing the launch of while Catra finishes her soup.

“The only issue with this company is that the marking team just _lies_ to the customers! They make me so mad.” Adora says, shaking her head.

“Uh, duh. Isn’t that their job? To convince people to buy your thing?” Catra asks.

“Well, yeah, but do they have to lie? Can’t they sell stuff by telling people the truth?”

Catra snickers. “Why did you even go into business, then? You could have gone into medicine or something less… morally gray, Adora.”

“Mara gave up her career plans to take me in, Catra. I want to do the things she couldn’t do.”

Catra gives Adora a puzzled look. “Did she tell you to do that?”

Adora frowns. “Well, no, but…”

Catra shakes her head. “She loves you, Adora. She doesn’t regret taking you in.”

Adora chews her lip. “Yeah, I know. Hey, what happened in the end, by the way? With your mom?”

“Later, Adora. I’ll tell you sometime when I don’t already feel like shit,” she chuckles weakly. “Um…” Catra trails off, glancing at the clock on the wall.

“Oh! I’ve overstayed, haven’t I? Are you tired?” Adora asks, her face growing warm with shame. She was supposed to be hear to help Catra feel better, not ask her uncomfortable questions and tire her out. 

Catra nods, but doesn’t move from her bundled up spot on the couch. Adora gives her a grin.

“Need some help?” Adora asks, standing up. Catra’s eyes widen, but she doesn’t protest as Adora scoops her, blanket bundle and all, into her arms.

“How are you still so strong?” Catra mutters as Adora carries her to her bedroom. Adora thinks she can see a pink tinge on Catra’s cheeks.

“Oh, I’m juicing.”

“W – what?” Catra asks, giving Adora a shocked look.

“I’m _kidding_. I still work out and play soccer in the city league. It keeps me in shape,” Adora says, gently placing Catra at the head of her bed. She thinks she hears Catra breathe a small sigh of relief. “I’m just going to take care of the dishes before I go,” Adora murmurs, tucking Catra in.

“Wait.” Catra says, wrapping her fingers around Adora’s wrist. “Adora, I – I don’t remember how to do this. How to be your friend and you’re being so _nice_ to me and – “

“Me, neither,” Adora whispers, cutting Catra off. “It was a long time ago. We were so different back then,” she says a little wistfully.

“But we don’t have to _remember_ , Catra. We can just… learn again.”

Catra holds Adora’s gaze for a moment before nodding and relaxing into her sheets. Adora stays for a few minutes until Catra’s breathing is even and regular before slipping out to load the dishwasher. She divides the leftover soup into plastic containers and puts them in the fridge so Catra won’t have to worry about her next meal or two.

As Adora drives back across the Bay, her words ring in her head. _Because you’re Catra_. The words belie a feeling that she hadn’t yet given a name, but explained perfectly why she went so far out of her way to take care of Catra tonight. It’s the same feeling that gave her so much joy when Bow and Glimmer told her that they liked Catra _and_ it’s the same feeling that made her heart soar when she saw Catra and Mermista laughing at each other’s jokes.

“I like Catra Weaver,” she mumbles aloud, just to test the sound of it. As soon as the words escape her lips, an image in her mind is refocused, cast into sharp relief. “Oh, god, I _like_ Catra,” she says again, blushing furiously.

She recalls all the times she got in trouble during math class because Catra made her laugh too easily. She remembers how much she admired Catra’s quick mind when it came to helping her with math homework. She remembers prom in junior year, when she wondered a little too intently what Catra would have worn. Perhaps those memories contained the fledgling roots of Adora’s feelings. Maybe if she’d realized earlier, she could have had a chance with Catra.

But she hadn’t. She’s only realized how she feels now, long after she’d hurt Catra so badly that Catra needed to shut Adora out of her life so that she could _get over_ her. Catra clearly _is_ over her, too, based on the way she’s so casually become friends with Adora again. Wait, maybe Catra is already seeing someone? Perhaps board game night was Catra’s plan to introduce Adora to her girlfriend?

 _Fuck._ Adora sighs as she speeds over the bridge. At this time of night, there are no other cars on the road. Her eyes water as she thinks about what she could have had if she’d only bothered to _notice_ her best friend’s feelings.

Maybe she deserves this.

~~~

Adora wakes up to her annoyingly cheerful alarm filled with a sense of miserable clarity, as if she’s understood something important that makes the world a dimmer place. She wants to tell Bow and Glimmer that she likes Catra, but she’s not really ready for Glimmer to rub her idiocy in her face, as much as she probably deserves it.

Still, she needs to talk to _someone_ about her revelation. Mermista? No – she wouldn’t really understand this sort of thing. Sea Hawk? _Definitely_ not. Frosta might be a good listener, but she’s still young. Bow actually _would_ be nice about it, but it just isn’t reasonable to expect Bow to keep a secret from Glimmer. Her dearth of options is what leads Adora Gray, almost 30 years old, to call her mother (figure) on her way home from work to talk about a girl she has a _crush_ on.

“Hey, sweetie. How’s it going?” Mara asks after picking up.

“Hi, Mara. Just heading home from the office. What’re you up to?”

“Hopey and I are going to a movie tonight. She needs a break – I keep getting on her about reducing her workload but it’s like she can’t imagine life without her job, you know?”

Adora giggles. It had taken a little while for Mara’s girlfriend to grow on her – Hope had come off a little stilted and businesslike when Mara first introduced her to Adora. Mara had really brought Hope out of her shell, though, and Adora could tell that she was a sweet and caring person, even if she did still come off a _little_ cold. “I don’t think that’s a battle you’re gonna win in this lifetime, Mara.”

Mara’s warm laughter crackled over the speaker. “I guess not. Anything new with you?”

“Yeah, actually…” Adora pauses. “I met someone that I really like.”

Mara is quiet for a moment, but Adora thinks she can hear a muffled yelp of excitement through the speaker. “I’m so happy for you, sweetie. It took a while for someone to catch your eye, huh?”

Adora grimaces a little. “Well, that’s the thing… I met her when I was in first grade.”

“Huh?”

Adora tells Mara everything – how she and Catra have reconnected, how Catra told her about her childhood crush, and how Adora realized that she has a hopeless crush on Catra because Catra is _over_ her.

“Sweetie…” Mara says consolingly. “It’s not all that hopeless, okay?”

“How do you figure?” Adora asks hoarsely.

“Catra fell for you before, right? Just be yourself and if it’s meant to be, she’ll fall for you again. Or, better yet, turn on the ol’ family charm.” Mara replies.

Adora giggles. “What family charm? You were single until I was in high school and I’m not exactly on a better trajectory here.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I had _plenty_ of fangirls when I was still playing basketball. And what about all those girls that followed you around like lost puppies in high school?” Mara chuckles.

Adora blushes at the memory. “They didn’t _really_ count, Mara. They just liked me because I was captain of the soccer team. Catra… she always knew the real me.”

Mara sighs. “I think you’re catastrophizing a bit too much, sweetie. Especially since you haven’t actually gotten rejected yet. Why not just tell her you like her? You’re adults, right?”

Adora’s stomach flips at the thought. Adult as she may be, but experienced in love she is most definitely not. “I just want to try and figure out if she likes me back before I tell her. That way I don’t have to embarrass myself if she’s clearly not into me.”

“Okay, so flirt with her a bit. If she flirts back, I think that’s a green light.” Mara reasons.

“Flirt?” Adora wonders aloud. In college, Glimmer always chided Adora for being an unwitting flirt in college and “playing” with her fan’s hearts. Adora never really gave Glimmer’s annoyance much thought, but… maybe she _could_ flirt with Catra.

“You know, hint that you like her without _saying_ you like her. If she doesn’t shut you down, that’s a good sign!” Mara says encouragingly.

“That’s actually a good idea, Mara,” Adora says, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

“ _Actually_? I’m full of good ideas!” Mara says in mock indignation. “Anyway, sweetie, I gotta go if Hope and I are going make our showtime. Let me know how it goes with Catra!”

“Sure, Mara,” Adora says. “Enjoy your movie!”

Adora parks and walks into her apartment deep in thought. If flirting is just acting like she likes Catra, she can definitely do it. After all, she really _does_ like Catra. And if Glimmer was right, she had successfully flirted with plenty of people in college, right? How hard could it really be?

While she ponders her options, her phone buzzes with a message from Catra. There’s a cute selfie attached – Catra’s got a spoon in her mouth and she’s still in her snuggly-looking pajamas. Her hair is still a fluffy mess, but the bags under her eyes have disappeared and her skin has lost its pallid character.

_Catra (6:15 PM): i’m feeling a lot better today, so i guess your soup actually worked. i owe you a game night._

Her heart clenches as she tries to figure out how to word her reply. Maybe the hard part about flirting will be managing to keep her crush a secret from Catra. Come _on_ , Adora – inviting, yet low-key. She can do this.

_Adora (6:17 PM): told u it would work. and u owe me a game night AND a meal =P._

~~~

The day she started high school, Catra began diligently reconstructing her life to no longer revolve around Adora Gray. It was difficult at first, but Catra was nothing if not tenacious. She made lifelong friends who didn’t remind her of Adora. She joined clubs and studied for her classes not because Adora would have wanted her to, but because she genuinely enjoyed her high school life. Catra even managed to date, though that was only once she accepted that she’d likely never see Adora again.

Catra had grown arrogant. Somewhere along the way, she came to believe the lie at the center of her carefully constructed life – not only did Catra not need Adora Gray, she didn’t even _want_ Adora Gray. It wasn’t completely a lie, she mused – she _didn’t_ need Adora. Her whole life after middle school was evidence of that. However, each of Adora’s awkward smiles, each time Adora laughs at her own jokes, each time Adora casually shows Catra how _important_ she still is to Adora, Catra becomes more and more aware of the hollow foundation of her previously Adora-free life.

Each time Adora pushes her way back into more and more of Catra’s life, she can’t help but let her in.

_Catra (6:19 PM): fine. my friends still want to meet you anyway._

_Adora (6:20 PM): omg u told ur friends about me? good things i hope_

_Catra (6:22 PM): just that i met this annoyingly perfect blonde who keeps inviting herself over to my house_

_Adora (6:23 PM): aww u think i’m perfect???_

Catra shakes her head, snickering. In some ways, Adora hadn’t changed at all.

_Catra (6:24 PM): perfectly annoying*_

_Catra (6:25 PM): …anyway, we could do brunch in east bay with scorpia and her fiancée on Saturday? my treat._

_Catra (6:25 PM): i know it’ll be a bit of a drive for you in the morning, it’s ok if you don’t want to_

_Adora (6:26 PM): a brunch double date? i can make it!_

Catra arched an eyebrow. A double date? Was Adora…? No, she couldn’t be. Adora always acted like this, even back in middle school. The fact that she’s acting like this despite knowing that Catra once had a crush on her is just a sign she wants their friendship to go back to how it used to be.

_Catra (6:27 PM): whatever you want to call it. just be at the sunrise café at 11 on Saturday._

~~~

Adora and Catra have been texting more-or-less continuously since Adora’s conversation with Mara, but Catra didn’t really seem to be getting Adora’s hints. Catra wasn’t shutting her down, but it didn’t really seem like she was responding positively, either.

 _I’m_ supposed to be the oblivious one, Adora thinks. Or maybe Catra _isn’t_ oblivious, she just doesn’t know how to let Adora down gently? Her mind races as she drives to the Sunrise Café, analyzing and reanalyzing every text for a sign that Catra definitely is or isn’t interested, but she can’t _really_ find anything at all. Catra’s texts were as acerbic as they’d ever been, even when they were kids.

Adora shakes the thoughts from her head. If step one of her plan is to figure out if Catra likes her, step 0.5 is to get along with Catra’s friends. And maybe step 0.6 is to figure out if Catra already has a girlfriend.

“Hey, Adora.” Catra waves as Adora walks up to the front of the restaurant. She’s wearing a warm-looking wool coat over jeans and a sweater.

“Catra! You look nice,” Adora says, beaming. That wasn’t too obvious, was it? Adora used to compliment Catra all the time when they were kids, after all.

Catra gives her a look. “Uh, you, too.”

Adora looks down at herself as she feels her cheeks color slightly. She’s just wearing her favorite bomber jacket over a loose white shirt and jeans. “I’m a little nervous,” she admits.

“Come on, Adora – you’re good at people. I was probably _way_ more nervous to meet your friends,” Catra says, opening the door of the café for Adora.

“You were nervous for that?” Adora asks, surprised. Catra always had a devil-may-care attitude, after all.

“Well, yeah…” Catra fidgets uncomfortably. “Glimmer and Bow live in such a huge house. I thought they might be royalty or something.”

 _Oh. It’s about their money._ Adora deflates a little. “Yeah, the Moons are pretty well off, but they’re down to earth, too.”

“Mm,” Catra agrees. “Oh, there they are,” she says, tugging on Adora’s sleeve and pointing.

“Perfuma?” Adora asks as her old college acquaintance and a tall, muscular woman who must be Scorpia stand to greet them.

“Adora, it’s been too long!” Perfuma says, stepping around the table to draw Adora into a hug.

“It has! How do you know Catra?” Adora asks, confused.

“Oh, I met Scorpia through a summer program I did in undergrad and we started dating when I moved here after my Psy.D.”

“And wildcat was my roommate in freshman year of college!” Scorpia adds. “Nice to finally meet you, by the way.”

Adora extends her hand to Scorpia, who raises an eyebrow at her but accepts the handshake. “It’s nice to meet you, too. And wildcat, huh?” Adora asks, grinning at Catra.

“Do _not_ start calling me that. One person is enough,” Catra grumbles, sitting down at the table.

Adora snorts, chuckling as they all follow Catra’s lead. Scorpia is actually pretty easy to talk to – she wrestled in high school and college, so they have athletics in common. Perfuma is as serene and as _Californian_ as Adora remembers.

“I gotta say, this is something like out of a movie, isn’t it? You two, both single, just running into each other after sixteen years?” Scorpia asks after a short lull in the conversation.

Adora gives Catra a sideways glance. “It is, isn’t it? I feel really lucky, though.”

“How come?” Scorpia asks. She’s nearly crossed from making figurative heart-eyes to literal heart-eyes, which in turn makes Catra looks vaguely nauseated.

Adora blushes and gives Catra another look. She doesn’t _really_ want to confess in front of Catra’s friends. “There’s a lot left unsaid,” Adora says. “I’m glad we’re getting a second chance.”

“Oh, yeah, wildcat would definitely agree,” Scorpia replies, nodding sagely.

“Shut _up_ , Scorpia,” Catra says, glaring daggers at her friends. Scorpia giggles, chastened.

Adora wants to ask what Catra felt was left unsaid. She already admitted her old crush, so what was left? Adora wants to hope it’s that Catra still has feelings for her, but it seems more and more unlikely with each deflected attempt at flirting. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get another chance to ask until she’s driving Catra home.

“Hey, Catra?” Adora asks as she pulls her car into Catra’s driveway.

“Hmm?” Catra intones, gazing out the passenger window. Her hand is on the handle of the door, but she doesn’t make a move to leave.

“What do you think we’ve left unsaid?”

“What do _you_ think? You’re the one that brought it up first, dummy,” Catra deflects.

“You’re so mean to me,” Adora chuckles, shaking her head.

Adora feels Catra’s eyes linger on her for a moment before she returns to very pointedly staring out the window. “I guess I’m mean to the people I like,” Catra mutters.

Adora feels the corner of her mouth turn up into a smile. “You like me, huh? How embarrassing for you.”

~~~

The worst part is that Adora is right – Catra _does_ like her. Not the kind of “like” Adora was thinking, though – the kind where Catra wants to sing Melissa Etheridge songs to Adora while rolling around with her in a field of daisies. Not that she’d admit _that_ out loud.

“Adora _definitely_ likes you, wildcat,” Scorpia assures her over the phone. She had insisted on having a post-brunch debrief with Catra. “She kept looking at you all doe-eyed whenever we were talking about you.”

Despite herself, Catra’s heart leaps with hope. “Okay, assuming she likes me – “

“Which she does,” Perfuma chimes in.

“Ugh. _Assuming_ she likes me, I still feel like I’m signing up to get hurt again. To hurt _her_ again,” Catra demurs.

“Why?” Perfuma asks.

Catra blinks disbelievingly. “Don’t you remember when I told you what happened? I _know_ you were listening, Perfuma.”

“That’s how you got hurt when you were kids, yes. Why does that mean you’d get hurt again?” Perfuma clarifies.

“Oh. Uh.” Catra pauses. “I guess… why would things be different?”

Perfuma sighs. “Let’s try something else. If you could talk to 8th grade Catra, what advice would you give her?”

“About Adora? I guess I’d tell her that she should just tell Adora that she likes her. And to stop feeling so jealous when Adora tries to make her hang out with other people. Oh, and that she shouldn’t feel so insecure when Adora tries to care of her,” Catra replies.

“Exactly!” Perfuma says. “You know so much more now. I’m not saying that you two won’t have _any_ problems, but you have the tools to deal with them like adults.”

Catra sighs. “Fine, fine. So, what, you think I should just ask her out?”

“If you and Adora had no history at all, wouldn’t you be going for it?” Perfuma asks.

Catra thinks about it. Her current feelings aren’t just a half-remembered shadow of her burning crush from her youth – Adora is still sweet, well-meaning, and willing to set everything aside to make Catra smile. “Ugh. Why are you so good at this?” Catra asks.

“Oh, isn’t she just the best?” Scorpia chimes in.

Catra snorts. Her previous girlfriends, while they had helped her grow as a person, hadn’t really been marriage material. Scorpia and Perfuma, however, are a team and they always support one another. Catra supposes that if _that’s_ what she has to look forward to with Adora, then, well, it might be nice.

~~~

Despite Catra’s newfound resolve, Adora ends up having a busy week at work with a product launch and Catra ends up having to prepare a presentation for her funding agency the week after. Autumn, or at least, the Mediterranean climate version of autumn, is in full swing by the time Adora and Catra have time for much more than texting.

_Catra (3:54 PM): my talk went pretty well. i think i’ve got a job for 5 more years, at least._

_Adora (3:55 PM): catra that’s great!! we should totally celebrate!_

_Catra (3:56 PM): we have to celebrate your product launch, too, dummy. when can i use it, anyway?_

_Adora (3:57 PM): as soon as u start offering microloans, lol. its mostly for merchants._

_Catra (3:59 PM): fiiine. still, worth celebrating, right?_

_Adora (4:00 PM): yeah! i’m old tho so not sure going out is in the cards_

_Catra (4:01 PM): me, too. i’d rather just eat something good and watch a dumb movie._

_Adora (4:03 PM): ooh, great idea. this is why i keep u around, wildcat._

_Catra (4:04 PM): please don’t start calling me that. i’d have to kill you AND scorpia._

_Adora (4:05 PM): hehehe. come over and i’ll make something special tonight. its Friday so we can stay up late._

_Catra (4:07 PM): this is your celebration, too. you can’t be the one doing all the work._

_Adora (4:08 PM): u better bring something expensive to drink then =P_

Does Costco even _have_ expensive drinks, though? Catra supposes she could buy an aged whisky, but she doesn’t really want to drink _that_ much tonight. Besides, she isn’t sure that Adora likes whisky, anyway. In the end, she decides she doesn’t want to cheap out when it sounded like Adora was planning to put a lot of effort into dinner, so Catra ends up buying a moderately expensive bottle of a Petite Sirah. Even if it didn’t go well with the food, they could split it over the movie.

Catra sighs as her Uber pulls up in front of Adora’s apartment. She doesn’t want to be drunk when she tries and makes a move on Adora, but a little wine-induced confidence could go a long way. No, that probably wouldn’t work – Adora is so _noble_ that she’d probably assume that Catra only wants her because she’s drunk. Catra is going to have to make this leap of faith without any performance-enhancing drugs.

“Catra! You’re here!” Adora says, smiling radiantly as she opens her door. She pulls Catra into a brief hug, which Catra sighs into.

“I said I’d come, didn’t I?” Catra asks, smirking. She turns her head up slightly as she walks inside. “Whatever you’re making smells pretty good.”

“You think?” Adora gives her a pleased smile. “It’s a recipe Mermista taught me in college.”

“Yeah?” Catra asks, walking inside. “I thought she might be a bit too much of a princess to bother with cooking.”

Adora pouts. “She is not! Well, her family _is_ pretty rich and I think she did have servants growing up but her parents wanted her to have a normal college experience and – “

Catra raises her hands in defeat. “I was kidding, Adora. I like her, really.”

“Oh.” Adora turns a little pink. “Well, good. Do you, uh, want me to decant that?”

Catra nods, handing the bottle to Adora. She feels a little anxious – when’s the right time to tell someone that you like them, anyway?

Should she just get it out of the way now, so that if Adora doesn’t feel the same way, she can just go home? Or should she enjoy the date (was it a date?) and spring her feelings on Adora at the end? Catra feels a little bad for her previous girlfriends, who had confessed their feelings first. This is a lot harder than it seems.

“Catra?” Adora’s voice shakes her from her thoughts.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you want to eat first or watch the movie first?” Adora repeats.

Catra’s stomach growls, answering the question for her. “Uh, dinner first,” she says sheepishly.

Adora giggles. “This is a bit nostalgic, isn’t it? Just take a seat, I’ll bring everything out.”

It _is_ nostalgic, more so than Adora knows. She knows that it’s not quite the same, but part of her feels like she’s still a 13-year-old girl hopelessly in love with her oblivious best friend. Maybe it’s not hopeless, Catra reminds herself. Maybe Adora isn’t as oblivious this time.

“I made jeera rice, naan, and chicken tikka masala,” Adora says as she carries out a bowl of rice and a plate of naan.

“Wow,” Catra says, actually impressed. “That’s Indian food, right? How’d you make naan at home?”

“I broiled my pizza stone for, like, 40 minutes to get it hot enough,” Adora says as she brings out the chicken tikka masala. Catra’s stomach growls again, more insistently this time.

“Thanks, Adora,” Catra says as she serves herself. She chews her first bite thoughtfully. “This is, like, restaurant-quality,” she says.

Adora sighs with relief. “Yeah, Mermista said it’s pretty inauthentic, but this _is_ how the chefs at one of her family hotels make it.”

Catra lets out a low whistle. “Family hotels? What does her family do, anyway?”

Adora furrows her eyebrows. “It’d be easier to name the things that Salineas _doesn’t_ do.”

“Wait, Mermista’s family owns Salineas? Like, half the products in the grocery store Salineas? Damn, Adora. Is _everyone_ you know filthy rich?” Catra asks.

Adora blushes. “Um, well, not everybody…?”

Catra shakes her head, chuckling. “Well, I hope you remember us little people when you’re rich and famous, too,” she teases.

Adora mutters something unintelligible, but Catra lets it slide as she serves herself some rice. “So what’s the secret ingredient here, Adora?”

Adora seems to be thankful for the opportunity to change the subject. While they eat, she explains that restaurants usually have a base gravy that makes up the foundation of most dishes. Chicken tikka masala usually just added spices, tomato paste, cream, and a _lot_ of fenugreek leaves to the base gravy.

“That’s really it? The way to make restaurant-style Indian food is to boil a bunch of onions for hours?” Catra asks, surprised.

“Well, that’s not _all_ , but yeah! You’ll have to stick around to find out the other secret ingredient,” Adora replies with a wink.

“Hm,” Catra intones, chewing her last bite. “This was really good. I sort of feel refreshed after that miserable week at work. I still feel bad that you did all the work, though. That’s three meals you’ve made for me.”

“I _like_ cooking for you, Catra,” Adora says seriously. Catra flushes a little under her gaze.

“You say stuff like that so easily,” Catra mutters.

“Like what?”

Catra shakes her head. “Ugh, never mind. Let me help you with the dishes,” Catra says, standing up.

Catra stews in silence as she helps Adora load up her dishwasher. Does Adora say stuff like that to all her friends? Or is it just for Catra? Could it really mean that Adora has feelings for her? Catra pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration. This is worse, in a way, than when Catra thought Adora was straight. At least she didn’t have to torture herself with this “does she or doesn’t she” nonsense.

“Um, the wine’s probably done breathing or whatever,” Adora says, clicking the start button on the dishwasher. “Do you want a glass?”

Catra nods, maybe a little too enthusiastically. “Please. What do you want to watch?” Catra asks. “I’m not in the mood for anything too serious.”

“Hmm,” Adora says, standing on her tiptoes to pull two wine glasses out of a cupboard. “Still into explosions?”

“Of _course_ ,” Catra chuckles. “I made it my whole career, didn’t I?”

Adora rolls her eyes, passing a glass to Catra. “How about The Fast and the Furious, then? You loved that movie in middle school.”

“Sure, why not?” Catra replies, filling her glass. The special effects are probably a little dated now, but she would enjoy seeing it again. Half the reason she liked this movie when they were kids was Jordana Brewster, anyway.

Catra flops down on one end of the couch and notices that Adora chooses to sit right next to her. She gazes at the dark liquid in her glass as Adora navigates the streaming app on her TV. Catra is not doing too hot at this whole “admitting to her feelings” thing. She isn’t even sure how to bring it up! Surely, she can’t just say “Hey Adora, I think I’m in love with you and want to make lady babies with you,” right? She needs _some_ kind of segue.

“I forgot how much I liked these movies,” Adora says as the truck chase starts.

Catra snorts. “Really? I thought this was a Dreamer kind of situation.”

“Hey, you _like_ Dreamer!” Adora said, tossing a pillow at Catra, who catches it and laughs.

“It’s not the worst,” Catra admits. “So tell me, how’s this not the worst? Even I’m only here for the action scenes.”

Adora turns a little pink. “Oh, Michelle Rodriguez is really good in it.”

Catra arches an eyebrow. “Yeah, _Letty Ortiz_ is her best work,” she chuckles.

“I guess she’s my type.” Adora stares at Catra with a peculiar look in her eyes. It doesn’t look like she’s even paying attention to the movie anymore. “Well, almost.”

“Almost?” Catra asks. She sips her wine – anything to avoid Adora’s strangely intense gaze. She’s hyperaware of her thigh brushing against Adora’s, but she doesn’t want to break their contact. Adora doesn’t either, it seems.

“I like shorter hair right now,” Adora replies steadily. Catra’s eyes snap back to Adora’s and her fingers idly tug at one of her curls.

“Are you… are you hitting on me?” Catra asks. Even Adora can’t be _that_ oblivious, right?

Adora tilts her head, laying it on Catra’s shoulder. Unlike the thousand times she’d done it before, however, Adora is looking up at Catra. She can feel Adora’s warm breath on her neck. “Am I?”

Catra inhales and exhales slowly, trying to untense her muscles. Adora _must_ know what she’s doing to Catra. This is just unnecessarily cruel. Catra’s gaze lands on Adora’s hands, which are gripping her knees so tightly that her knuckles are white. _Oh. She’s nervous, too._

“Look, Adora,” Catra murmurs as her hand catches Adora’s jaw and pulls her up to eye level. “I like you,” she breathes. “A lot.”

Adora’s eyes widen. “Wait, you do?” The breathiness is gone from her voice, replaced by surprise.

Catra’s face sags. “Seriously?”

“Well, I hoped…” Adora gives her a shy smile. Catra gazes into intoxicating gray-blue eyes. She knows if she bridges the gap, she will never again be free – her heart will be irrevocably wed to Adora Gray. For a fearful moment, Catra contemplates if Adora will keel short of the illusions created by her childish passion. 

Then, her lips touch Adora’s and a delicate heat floods her body, burning her insecurities away. Catra feels Adora’s arms drape around her shoulders and she melts into the embrace, surrounded by Adora’s scent. Adora pushes back against her, hungry, and like lavender under the blazing California sun, Catra blooms.

That night, the last train across the bay rumbles by Adora’s bedroom window, unnoticed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be a short epilogue after this chapter, too, just to wrap up a few open questions!

Adora awakens to the aroma of coconut- and rosemary-scented shampoo. Her eyes flutter open to the sight of Catra curled into her chest and, for a groggy moment, she’s confused. _Catra likes her, too_ , she remembers and her heart soars. She breathes in deeply, relishing the scent of Catra’s hair.

Catra stirs slightly and nuzzles her face deeper into Adora’s chest before stretching luxuriously. Sunbeams poke through the blinds and illuminate Catra’s hair, making it look at once black and brown and deep red. Catra slides up on the bed until their noses are touching.

“Morning, beautiful,” Adora says, pushing Catra’s hickory-brown hair out of her eyes. Touching Catra so casually like this feels almost forbidden, like brushing her fingertips against a work of art in a museum.

Catra fidgets, biting her lower lip. “How do you just _say_ stuff like that?”

“Like what? I’m just saying the things I’ve wanted to tell you all along.”

“Like _that_ ,” Catra says, rolling her bewitching, mismatched eyes. “Shut up, Adora.”

“Make me,” Adora murmurs breathily. She arches a beckoning eyebrow at Catra.

“I want to.” Catra gaze drops to Adora’s lips. “But I really want you to brush your teeth first.”

Adora sits up, laughing. “I should have known that being your girlfriend wouldn’t keep you from being mean to me,” she says.

“Oh, uh. Did we talk about that last night? What it meant?” Catra says, pushing herself up with her arms.

“I guess we didn’t,” Adora admits, blushing. “But that’s what I want. To be your girlfriend, I mean.”

Catra nods. “Okay. Let’s do that, then.”

Adora snorts. “Don’t sound so excited, Catra.”

“Fine, you’re my girlfriend or whatever! Happy?”

Adora leans over and plants a kiss on Catra’s bright red cheek. “Yeah.”

And then, Catra shoves her out of bed and she cackles until Catra seems genuinely concerned that she gave Adora a concussion. They spend the rest of the morning languorously making breakfast, drinking coffee, and sharing kisses. After they brush their teeth, that is.

~~~

Adora is not sure why she didn’t start dating Catra earlier. Well, lack of opportunity, obviously, but she meant the question rhetorically, anyway. As much as Adora wants to spend every waking (and sleeping) minute with Catra, their jobs are inconveniently on opposite sides of the Bay and they _do_ have to work for a living. Adora’s willing to visit Catra every night anyway, but at the end of the day, they are too busy to spend more than weekends and the occasional weeknight together.

With Catra by her side, Adora gets around to exploring the Bay in a way she hadn’t really bothered to in the ten years she’d lived here. Things that seemed like boring tourist traps are suddenly fun because Adora loves seeing Catra’s serene smile when they reach a stunning vista on a hike or the face that means she’s deep in thought when considering an interesting art exhibit. As the pages of the calendar turn, Catra and Adora fill their weekends with museums dates, trips to national parks, and long walks through the hills behind Catra’s apartment. In the evenings, they cook together and teach each other all the recipes they learned in their years apart. 

“Hey,” Adora murmurs one evening in early December. Her head is in Catra’s lap and Catra is idly carding her fingers through her loose hair, watching something on TV. “What do you want to do for the holidays? You get two weeks off, right?”

Catra nods. “I don’t usually make any plans,” she says. “Not like I want to go home.”

Adora turns her head to look up at Catra’s face. “Do – do you want to come home with me? It would make Mara really happy.”

“Introducing me to your family already, Adora?” Catra giggles. “Careful, I’ll start thinking that you’re serious about me.”

“Come on, Mara misses you, too,” Adora says. “And I _am_ serious about you,” she adds.

Catra snickers. “Okay, okay. I guess it’s been a while since I called her, anyway.”

“You call her?” Adora asks, surprised.

“Well, uh, sometimes?” Catra mumbles, tugging at a lock of Adora’s hair. “There’s just, you know, stuff that I can’t talk to my mom about and she’s the closest…”

Adora gives Catra a soft smile. “I’m glad, Catra. So you’ll come with me?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

~~~

Catra looks up at the familiar façade of the house that she had spent the best parts of her childhood in. It isn’t really a ghost of the past, not anymore. A ghost of right now, maybe. There are always going to be memories that she could have made here but didn’t.

Adora’s voice interrupts her thoughts. “Something wrong, Catra?” She’s carrying both of their travel bags, one in each hand. Catra has to try to avoid being distracted by Adora’s triceps.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s just been so long since I saw your house.”

“Well, let’s not keep the house waiting any longer,” Adora giggles, walking up the driveway and ringing the doorbell with her elbow.

“Adora!” Mara greets them warmly as she opens the door. “And Catra. Or should I call you Dr. Weaver?”

Catra allows herself to be pulled into a tight hug. Mara’s aged, but she still has the same kind brown eyes beneath her graying hair and crow’s feet. “Just Catra, please. I’m not that pretentious, Mara.”

Mara laughs and holds Catra at arm’s length. “I’m so proud of you, Catra. You’ve grown so much,” she says, smiling brightly.

“Sorry for not visiting,” Catra mumbles awkwardly, her face hot with shame. Not like it would have been possible, really, but she still feels bad.

“All that matters is that you’re here now, kiddo. Come on, you haven’t met Hope,” Mara says, leading them into the living room.

“Hope, this is Catra,” Mara says.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Catra,” Hope says, extending her hand. She is slender and almost impossibly tall with fashionably short, dark hair.

“Uh, the pleasure is all mine,” Catra says, feeling awfully small among this family of giants. Well, Adora isn't _that_ much taller than her, but still. “Let me guess, you met Mara playing basketball?”

Hope tilts her head in confusion. “I do not understand. Mara and I met at a company holiday party.”

“It’s cause you’re so tall, Hopey,” Mara says, patting Hope’s arm. “She’s not good at jokes,” she adds in an exaggerated whisper to Catra.

“Oh, I see. That is very humorous,” Hope says, flashing Catra a smile, but Catra remains unconvinced. Hope moves to greet Adora and help her carry the suitcases to Adora’s old room.

“She takes a little getting used to,” Mara says to Catra. “But I love her.”

Catra nudges Mara in the arm with her elbow. “She’s lovely. I’m glad you finally have someone around the house, Mara.”

“Well, it was a little hard to date with the pitter-patter of two little pairs of feet around here. Better late than never,” Mara chuckles. “Could you help me set the table?”

Catra nods and follows Mara to the kitchen. “What’s for dinner?”

“I wasn’t sure when you two would arrive, so I wanted to make something fast. You two always liked burgers and fries and today’s a happy occasion, so I figured why not?” Mara says, handing two plates to Catra. “You _do_ still like burgers, right?”

Mara’s thoughtfulness still takes Catra aback, even after all these years. “Yeah, I love them. Not as much as Adora loves fries, of course,” Catra snickers. “She still celebrates product launches by eating French fries for dinner.”

“Make sure that girl is eating her vegetables,” Mara says sternly. “She can’t be having French fries all the time.”

“Potatoes don’t count as a vegetable?” Catra asks innocently, but breaks into a laugh when Mara shoots her a disapproving look. “I’m kidding. I try my best with her.”

Mara relaxes, laughing along with Catra. “I’m glad you two are looking out for each other again.”

Hope and Adora come back downstairs at this point and they’re both laughing at something _._ Catra raises an eyebrow at Mara, who just gives her a shrug. _Guess she has some sense of humor_ , Catra thinks.

“Come on, girls, let’s eat,” Mara says. “Hope and I are starving!”

It’s easy to get back into the rhythm of their dinner table banter. It makes Catra wonder if her place at the table waited for her, empty, all those years she and Adora were not speaking. Her stomach wrenches a little as she realizes that Adora probably ate many dinners alone in high school. It’s a sour thought, though, so she doesn’t dwell on it for long. She and Adora are happy again, after all, and for once it seems like nothing is going to get in the way of that.

~~~

“Are you sure we’ll both fit?” Catra asks that night, eyeing Adora’s childhood bed. It’s a twin bed, which is a bit of a misnomer, Catra thinks.

“You always snuggle up to me, anyway,” Adora replies easily. “It’ll be fine. But if you really want, I can get out your old sleeping bag?”

Catra shakes her head, blushing a little. “I’m sure that thing hasn’t been cleaned since the last time I stayed over,” she says, slipping under the sheets. She wonders if she could have been brave enough to ask to sleep in Adora’s bed when they were kids. _Definitely not._

“Hey,” Adora whispers, cuddling up to Catra’s side. “Thanks for coming with me. It means a lot.”

Catra finds the crook of Adora’s neck and buries her nose in it. “I didn’t _just_ do it for you. Mara’s always been a hell of a lot better mom to me than Beatrix ever was. It was nice to see her again.”

Adora’s fingers idly scratch at Catra’s scalp. It’s soothing. “You never told me what happened with her, by the way. You don’t have to,” she says. “But I’m still curious.”

Catra sighs deeply. _Guess I can’t put this off forever._ “No, it’s okay. It’s not even like it’s that bad, it’s just… confusing. Still.”

Adora nods but waits patiently for Catra to continue.

“You know how she treated me when we were kids, right?” Catra asks. “It wasn’t like she hit me or anything like that, she just ignored me most of the time like I was some housemate she found on Craigslist. Honestly, I think she let me stay over here all the time because it meant she could stop making even the bare minimum effort to take care of me.”

Catra knows that Adora’s heard all of that before, but it’s easier to tell the story from the top. “Well, that didn’t really change in high school. She was a little annoyed when she noticed I spent all my time at home again, but it’s like she couldn’t even bother being mad at me. I mean, I already knew at that point – she didn’t hate me or anything. She just didn’t really care about me at all.”

“Catra…” Adora starts. Her grey-blue eyes are shimmering, but Catra knows that it’s love, not pity, behind her concern.

“After I got that letter saying I won the Dean’s Scholarship in senior year, she changed her tune all of a sudden. She started telling me that everything she’d done was to make me strong and self-reliant.”

“Why?” Adora asks.

“Who knows? Maybe once she realized I was going to make something of myself, she wanted to guilt me into taking care of her when she’s old or something.” Catra takes a deep breath of Adora’s comforting scent before continuing. “The last day of summer vacation before freshman orientation, I was planning on taking the train down to campus, but she surprised me. She offered to drive me herself.”

“Did you go with her?” Adora breathes.

Catra nods. “It was pretty awkward. You can’t really just start having a conversation with your mother after almost eighteen years of almost-radio silence. But then, once we got there, she told me that she was proud to call me her daughter. That really fucked me up for a while.”

“Do you think she meant it?”

“No. What right does she have to call me her daughter, anyway? But, Adora – I _wanted_ her to mean it. Not in that moment, but, like, my whole life. I wanted her to have loved me my whole life the way Mara loves you.” Catra sniffles into Adora’s neck. _Why is this still so hard to talk about?_

Adora quietly wraps her arms around Catra’s back. “What happened next?”

“Nothing, I guess. I haven’t spoken to her since. I don’t want to, either,” Catra says, her voice a little hard. “I _don’t_ need her.”

“Catra, it’s okay if you – “ Adora murmurs.

“Being a parent isn’t just being proud of your kid when they do something you like, Adora. It’s – I don’t know. It’s being dependably there, I guess. She never helped me with my homework, or showed me how to make friends, or taught me how to ride a bike, or – or helped me figure things out when I fucked up our friendship. She was _never_ there for me until I didn’t need her anymore, so she doesn’t _get_ to be proud of me,” Catra grits out. “Fuck, I’m too old to be crying about this,” she chuckles, sniffling, and Adora pulls her tight against her chest. 

Adora strokes Catra’s hair and they lay there for several long moments. “Sorry,” Catra says shakily. “I didn’t mean to be such a downer.”

Adora shakes her head. “You’re amazing, Cat. And you’re going to be a much better mother than her,” she whispers. “Um, well, if that’s what you want, anyway,” she adds awkwardly.

“Idiot,” Catra murmurs. “Maybe someday. If it’s all the same, though, I don’t really feel up to trying for a baby this very second, though.”

Adora giggles softly and ruffles Catra’s hair. “That’s not how it works, anyway, silly.”

Catra snickers and rolls over, taking Adora’s hand in her own and pulling it over her waist. Even if her mother hadn’t given her any love, she got plenty from Mara when she was a child, and plenty from Adora now. _Love_ , she rolls the word around in her head. _Yeah._ It’s a good word to describe the way she feels.

~~~

For the last five months, Adora has felt like she’s been floating half an inch above the ground. She knows the words for how she’s feeling, of course – she’s in love with Catra. Knowing it, even if she hasn’t yet said it out loud, is enough to make her heart feel like it’s full to bursting. She can’t really bear to keep it to herself any longer, though – she’s going to tell Catra tonight at dinner. It’s not like they’re doing anything special tonight, but isn’t that why she wants to say it? Every minute of every day with Catra overwhelms her with love, after all.

She’s also going to tell Catra about the acceptance letter she received today from Stutts University’s MBA program. The opportunity is just too good to pass up – Stutts is one of the top five programs in the country and getting an MBA _has_ always been part of her plan. She hadn’t really meant to keep it a secret from Catra, but she submitted her application before their serendipitous reunion and the topic hadn’t really come up in their conversations since. Besides, Stutts is on the other side of the country – it would have caused Catra a lot of needless worry if she hadn’t actually gotten in, right? Regardless, it’s time to come clean.

As she assembles dinner that evening, Adora tries to soothe her nerves. She’s going to tell Catra about her MBA acceptance and this time, she won’t pressure Catra to go with her. She will assure Catra that they’ll be okay because, after all, she’s in love with Catra. Adora grins as she goes over the plan in her head. She has even made crab rolls – Catra is easily plied with seafood. What could possibly go wrong?

“Hey, Adora,” Catra says when Adora opens the door. She’s still got her laptop bag slung over her shoulder. They had enough stuff stashed at each other’s places now that they didn’t need overnight bags anymore.

“Did you come here straight from work?” Adora asks, leaning in for a kiss before beckoning Catra inside.

“Yeah, well. I missed you,” Catra replies, dropping her bag and coat by the door and following Adora inside. “What’s for dinner?”

Adora smiles radiantly. It still makes her heart flutter when Catra says sweet things to her. “Crab rolls! I stopped by the wharf on the way home from work to pick up the crabs.”

Catra lets out a low whistle. “Sounds like a lot of work. Am I forgetting an anniversary?”

Adora snorts. “No, silly. I just have some big news, is all.”

“Yeah?” Catra asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I got accepted into Stutts for my MBA,” Adora says. She’s a little proud of herself – who wouldn’t be?

“Oh. Uh, congrats,” Catra says slowly. She doesn’t seem nearly as excited as Adora thought she’d be. “When did you apply?”

“In August, before we met again. Honestly, it slipped my mind with… with everything,” Adora finishes lamely.

Catra crosses her arms, regarding Adora carefully. “Stutts is… really far away, Adora. Are you planning on going?”

Adora frowns a little. She’s suddenly aware that this conversation doesn’t seem to be going the way she imagined it. “Yeah, it’s a really good program and – and I’ve always planned on doing an MBA.”

For a second, Adora sees a flash of anger in Catra’s eyes, but it disappears and Catra’s face sags. “So you’re decided, then,” she mutters, looking defeated. “Fuck, I’m so stupid,” she whispers to herself.

She didn’t put that look on Catra’s face, did she? This wasn’t – this wasn’t like last time. She wouldn’t let it be like last time. “No, Catra, I don’t expect you to come with me. It’s only two years and I know we can make things work, okay?” Adora says, hopefully. Desperately.

Catra shakes her head. “When you left me last time, I took it _so_ personally.” Her voice is numb and hollow. “That was really conceited of me, wasn’t it? This is just what you do, Adora.”

“W – what?” Adora’s eyes widen. No, she told Catra it was okay if she didn’t move with her, right? Why did Catra still sound so broken?

“You just _decide_ things and the rest of us have to go along with it. You didn’t owe it to me last time, but this time I thought…” Catra trails off as her eyes start to water. “I thought we were a team.”

Adora shakes her head, her eyes wild. How had she fucked up _again_? “No, Catra. No, no, we _are_ , that’s why – “

“Have fun in Boston, Adora,” Catra says, pulling Adora’s front door open. Her cheeks are wet with tears and Adora wants so desperately to reach out and wipe them away, to hold her close and reassure her that everything will be okay. “If we run into each other when you get back, just… don’t. Please don’t do this to me again. I – I can’t,” she says, her voice breaking.

“Catra, please – “ Adora starts, but Catra’s gone.

Adora braces herself against the wall, hunched over and crying. She got two shots at happiness that she apparently never deserved, because she had somehow managed to break Catra’s heart twice over. 

~~~

“Bow? Are you there?” Adora asks her phone frantically. After she’d wrung her body dry of tears, she was left filled with dim resolve. She’s not letting Catra go again without at least _trying_ to fix things.

“Adora?” Bow asks groggily. “What’s wrong?”

“I messed up, Bow,” Adora says raggedly. “I need someone to talk to.”

“Slow down, Adora.” Bow’s voice is soothing. “What happened?”

Adora hurriedly stumbles through an explanation of how she got accepted to Stutts, how she planned on telling Catra she loves her, and how it had all gone wrong. Bow listens sympathetically and saves his questions for the end.

“Adora…” Bow says slowly, a little like he’s talking to a teenager. “What do you want?”

“I want to fix this, Bow!” Adora wails into her phone. “I won’t go to Stutts. I’ll stay here, if… if – “

“Do you think that’s what Catra wants?” Bow asks patiently.

“Well, yeah…?” Adora trails off, confused. “Isn’t… isn’t that why she got mad?”

“Maybe that’s part of it,” Bow says. “Well, it probably is. But more than that, haven’t you had months to tell Catra that you applied to grad school?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to worry her unless I actually got in…” Adora trails off. That was fair, right? To wait to tell Catra until she was sure?

“You know Catra better than I do, but don’t you think she _wants_ to worry about that stuff?”

“Huh?”

“She’s your girlfriend, right? Aren’t you serious about her?” Bow asks.

Of _course_ she’s serious about Catra. Adora hasn’t been more serious about anything in her entire life. “Obviously, Bow. I – I love her.”

“When you’re planning on being together, you know, long-term, shouldn’t you be thinking about these life-changing decisions together?” Bow asks. “Rather than just deciding on your own?”

“Oh,” Adora murmurs. Suddenly, realization dawns and Catra’s words make sense. _I thought we were a team_. “Fuck, I’m such an idiot, Bow. N - no wonder she left,” she sobs softly. “What do I do?”

“Just _talk_ to her, Adora. Before you turn 45, this time, okay?”

Adora chuckles through a ragged sob. “Yeah, I can – I’ll call her. Thanks, Bow. You always have good advice.”

“Well, I _am_ a dad now, right?” he asks, chuckling in return.

~~~

Catra fumes, her footsteps echoing sharply down the street. She’d never be Adora’s top priority, would she? She really thought that things had changed, that somehow Adora _actually_ liked her. In the end, she could only hope to be second place at best in Adora’s priorities, even though Adora is – maybe always had been – first in her heart.

Catra shivers. The tears on her cheeks feel like ice as they dry. She walked out of Adora’s apartment without picking up her coat and February winds are still uncomfortably brisk in the city. She looks over her shoulder, gazing at the street corner that Adora lives on. She couldn’t – she shouldn’t go back, right? It would be too pathetic to go crawling back when Adora clearly doesn’t care about Catra as much as Catra cares about her.

 _But…_ Catra sighs, kicking at a crack in the sidewalk. It was easy to convince herself that Adora didn’t care about her the last time they fought, but things are different now. This time, they have whispered promises, reverent touches, and tangible moments of intimacy. Neither of them had said it yet, but Catra _knows_ that she loves Adora and unless she’s deeply, deeply mistaken, Adora feels the same way about her.

Catra spares Adora’s apartment another glance. She _had_ been conceited when they were in 8th grade – Adora hadn’t been thinking about Catra at all when she decided to leave her. Adora had always been like that. Once an idea gets in her head, she just doesn’t give up, for good or for ill. That’s something she loves about Adora, though, even if it is sometimes infuriating.

She groans. Catra can’t stay mad at Adora. She’s already wasted too many years of her life resenting Adora, then missing her, then regretting all the things that happened between them. The main thing she regrets now is not reaching out earlier – she could have had the bliss of the last several months so much sooner. _Hm._ Catra shakes her head, trying to sort out her thoughts.

She can’t run away again without trying to fight for Adora. She doesn’t want to add another Adora-related regret to the already too-long list.

Catra turns around and starts walking back to Adora’s apartment, huffing loudly.

~~~

Adora has _just_ about worked up the courage to hit the dial button when she heard a familiar knocking at her door. Two quick raps, like a heartbeat. She swings it open.

“Catra! I – I was just about to call,” Adora says, breathlessly.

“I didn’t leave, dummy. I just needed some time to think. I didn’t mean the… you know. The stuff I said at the end,” Catra mutters apologetically. She steps into Adora’s apartment, but keeps her back pressed to the door.

Adora nods a little too hard, a little too eagerly. Relief leaks out of the corners of her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Catra, I’ve been so, so stupid.”

Catra nods, waiting for her to continue.

“I didn’t – I just meant – “ Adora shuts her mouth and takes a deep breath. _Come on, Adora,_ she thinks, willing herself to be coherent. “I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell you, Catra. I thought – or I didn’t think, really,” Adora pauses, smiling weakly. “I want us to be a team. I guess I didn’t really understand what that meant until now,” she finishes lamely.

Catra takes Adora’s hands in her own and squeezes them. “It’s okay,” she whispers, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to Adora’s cheekbone. “I’m proud, you know,” she says, kissing the other cheekbone. “Not everyone gets a hot jock for a girlfriend who also apparently aced her GMAT.”

Adora brightens a little. “Then… we’re still…?”

Catra nods. “I shouldn’t have said that stuff. I’m sorry, Adora. Look, we’re going to fight sometimes. I can’t promise I won’t need to go clear my head sometimes, but I’m not just going to leave again. I promise.”

“Okay,” Adora breathes. “I promise I won’t keep important things I’m thinking about from you. Especially big, life-changing things.”

“Good.” Catra smiles tentatively at Adora. “Now, can we please finish this conversation _after_ we eat? I’m starving.”

Adora sniffles and smiles back. “Yeah. We’re lucky these don’t need to be hot,” she says, leading Catra by the hand to the dining table. She looks at their plates, placed on opposite sides of the table. “Can we eat on the couch?” she asks.

Catra arches an eyebrow. “It’s your place, Adora. Doesn’t bother me if you want your furniture covered in crumbs,” she says, but she bumps her shoulder against Adora’s. They pick up their plates and Catra follows Adora to the living room.

Adora puts her food down on the coffee table and sits, patting the spot on the couch next to her. Catra sits down and leans against Adora’s shoulder.

“Mmm,” Catra murmurs in between bites of her crab roll. “How’d you make this?”

Adora knows Catra’s extending an olive branch – if they can talk about something as mundane as a sandwich recipe, then maybe tonight can be salvaged.

“Well, I had to learn how to open up a crab,” Adora starts, miming the motion. “It’s gross in there.”

“Aww, you should have waited for me. I’ve always been curious about what’s inside my food,” Catra chuckles. “How’d you get all the meat out, anyway?”

By the time they finish their meals and Adora’s lecture about proper claw-cracking technique, Adora is stuffed. She stretches out on the couch and leans back, beckoning plaintively to Catra. Catra rolls her eyes, but lays against Adora, nuzzling her face into Adora’s stomach. They bask in each other’s presence for a long moment before Adora speaks up.

“I think… I might defer my acceptance,” she says slowly. “But I want to talk about it.”

Catra shifts so that she’s looking up into Adora’s eyes. “Adora, you don’t have to do that for me.”

“No, Catra – for me, getting an MBA was just the next thing on my ‘life plan’ I made when I was a junior in college. Things are different now. Maybe it _is_ the right thing for my career, but I still need to think about it.” Adora pulls Catra up, so that their faces are level.

“That… makes sense.” Catra nods. “It’s not that I don’t want you to go, I just want to know what’s going on beneath that enormous forehead, okay? If you decide Stutts is the right next step for you, then I’ll support you. We’ll figure it out together.”

“Together,” Adora agrees, smiling. “It took me almost sixteen years to find you again. You’re not getting rid of me that easy,” she says, squeezing Catra tightly.

“You could have just called, dummy,” Catra says, giving Adora a quick peck on the lips.

“I was about to – “ Adora starts, but then she catches the double meaning. Maybe it could have been that easy in high school, or in college, or in any of the years after. She shrugs. They are together _now_ , and that’s all that matters. “You would have broken up with me when I was consulting. I had a case in Pennsylvania that lasted, like, six months,” she says.

Catra giggles and shakes her head, then plants a kiss on Adora’s chin. “What made you realize that you like me, anyway?”

“Hmm,” Adora says, glancing at the ceiling. “Aside from Mara, I always felt the most ‘at home’ around you. Like I could make bad jokes and be silly and you wouldn’t tell me to act normal. And I remembered that I wanted to be your friend because I thought you were intimidating and pretty, even when we were kids. When we met again… I realized what all those feelings meant, I guess.”

Catra blinks at Adora, cheeks ruddy. “That’s really sweet, Adora. And dumb. But… very you.”

Adora grinned brightly. “What about you? What made you realize that you like me?”

“I’m not telling you that! That’s embarrassing,” Catra mutters.

“Catra…”

“Ugh, _fine_. Which time?”

“Both!” Adora replies. She’s practically vibrating with anticipation.

Catra huffs and buries her face in the crook of Adora’s neck. “It was in seventh grade, I guess. When you started hanging out with your soccer friends all the time, I got really jealous and I didn’t know why until Kenny asked me if I had a crush on you.”

“Wow, so we owe it all to Kenny, huh? I wonder how he’s doing…” Adora trails off. She hadn’t seen Kenny since 8th grade, but he had always been nice to both of them.

“We lost touch after high school, but I think he’s in finance now. That’s what I heard at our 10-year reunion,” Catra says.

“And what about this time?” Adora reminds Catra.

“We’re _done_ talking about feelings after this for, like, months, okay?” Catra groans. “It was probably after you made me soup when I was sick. You grew up, obviously, but everything I loved about you when we were kids… you’re still the same, Adora.”

Adora’s eyes are shining. “Loved?”

Catra blushes deeply and tries to burrow deeper into Adora’s neck. “Love.” Her voice is muffled. “I love you.”

 _Catra loves me_. Half a year ago, she couldn’t have known how happy hearing those words could make her, but tonight her heart soars. She gently pushes Catra away so that she can gaze into her favorite pair of eyes. “I love you, too, Catra. I love you _so_ much.”

Catra nods slowly, as if she’s savoring Adora’s words. Their lips meet again, and this time it isn’t just fireworks and lightning. It is firm and intent, containing meaning that words are inadequate to convey. It is assurance that the waiting was worth it because the best is yet to be. It is trust that they would see it together.


	7. Epilogue

Catra blinks groggily. Waking up in Adora’s childhood bedroom is still disorienting – for a moment, she’s not sure if she’s just dreaming about being a kid again. Then, she notices how much her shoulder aches from sleeping on the same side all night and the dull ache in her lower back from being curled up in a twin-sized bed. _Nope, I’m definitely 31._ Catra stretches and notes that Adora must not be back yet from her morning jog – she can’t hear the shower running and there’s an empty spot in the bed.

Catra rolls out of bed and glances around the bedroom. Mara hadn’t moved anything when Adora went to college, so the details are all achingly familiar. Adora’s dresser is still covered in horse stickers. The rug still stops the door when you try to slam it shut. The door frame is still etched with height marks – one side for Adora and the other for Catra, though Catra’s only go up until she’s 13.

Catra walks over to Adora’s tiny old desk. The corkboard behind it is covered in old photos. Adora hadn’t updated it since high school, though, so it’s mostly pictures of unfamiliar faces. Friends from high school, probably. Catra recognizes Lonnie in a few of them, at least. There are a few from earlier days, too, like one of Adora after her first game on the middle school soccer team. Catra dimly remembers standing next to Mara while she snapped the picture.

 _How sentimental_ , she thinks as her eyes find the picture Mara took at Catra’s seventh birthday party. It’s a bit blurry and underexposed, but Catra can still make out her gap-toothed grin that looks like it’s threatening to crack her face in half. She had known them for a little over a year at that point, but that’s when she really began to feel like a part of Mara’s family. Catra is a little surprised that Adora kept it.

The past is the past, though. Now, she and Adora have hundreds of pictures together and none of them are tinged with the bittersweetness of their childhood. Having had enough reminiscing, Catra brushes her teeth and heads downstairs. The house is quiet, aside from the soft sounds of Mara puttering around in the kitchen.

“Oh! Good morning, Catra. Coffee?” Mara asks, glancing up over her reading glasses. She’s wearing a bathrobe over her pajamas and worn, fluffy slippers that Catra remembers picking out as a birthday gift using Adora’s allowance when they were eight.

“Let me, Mara,” Catra says, moving to grind her own beans, but Mara waves her off.

“You girls made me dinner so many times when I was still an associate at the company,” Mara says. “Now that I’m retired, let me make it up to you.”

Catra shakes her head but acquiesces. If there is a debt between Catra and Mara, it’s one that Catra owes, not the other way around. Watching Mara make her pour-over is like a half-forgotten memory come to life, with a few flaws – Mara doesn’t move quite as quickly around the kitchen as Catra remembers and her face is lined with wrinkles. To be fair, Catra’s starting to develop a few wrinkles of her own.

“I can’t believe you two are getting married,” Mara sighs, handing Catra the mug of coffee. “It feels like just yesterday you were having sleepovers here.”

“Technically, we did have a sleepover here yesterday,” Catra chuckles. She savors her first sip from her mug, letting the nutty aroma overwhelm her. Sometimes, Catra can’t really believe that Adora is going to her wife, either. The last two years feel like they’ve passed in the blink of an eye.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” Mara laughs lightly.

“Yeah.” Catra smiles. A thought strikes her. “Hey, remember when I made you come talk to me that night in 7th grade? When I came out to you?”

Mara frowns, and then a flash of recognition dances across her face. “Oh! I was so worried that you had gotten into trouble or something. Imagine my relief when you just wanted to talk about a crush.”

“Did you know? That I was talking about Adora, I mean?”

Mara tuts and gives Catra a look. “I didn’t _know,_ but let’s just say I suspected.”

“And you didn’t bring it up?”

“I figured that for middle school Catra, nothing could be much more embarrassing than me knowing you had a crush on Adora,” Mara says with a faint smile.

“Okay, fair,” Catra nods. “I guess it all worked out in the end, anyway.”

“It really did, didn’t it?” Mara sighs reminiscently. “Speaking of, where _is_ Adora, anyway? She can’t still be sleeping, right?”

Catra laughs. “Definitely not. She went out for a run before I woke up.”

“That girl,” Mara says, shaking her head. “Would you believe I thought she might settle down a bit now that she’s engaged?”

“Wishful thinking.” Catra snorts, taking another swig of her coffee. “What about Hope?”

“She’s sleeping in. Poor dear had to keep working even after you two went to bed.” Mara says sympathetically.

Catra whistles. “She’s kind of a machine, isn’t she?”

“Hopey would definitely like people to think that. But the morning after she goes on a work bender, she just wants to sleep all day and be pampered. She really likes – “

“Okay, okay, I don’t need to hear all the details,” Catra interjects. They chuckle together fondly.

“How’s wedding prep going?” Mara asks.

“Miserable, but Adora loves it. I think our planner is starting to get a little territorial,” Catra replies, rolling her eyes. “We have the venue booked, at least, so there _is_ going to be a wedding. There might even be food, at the rate we’re going.”

“You two _could_ have just had it in the backyard here. I suggested it to Adora,” Mara says.

“Well, she has, like, a million of her friends to invite. I guess they’re not so bad, though,” she adds.

“Mm.” Mara smiles contentedly. Satisfaction in a job well done, Catra supposes.

“Thanks, Mara.”

“Hmm? For what?” Mara asks.

“Just…” Catra trails off. For helping foot the bill for the wedding? For raising Adora? “For everything, I guess.”

Mara takes a long look at Catra. “It was my pleasure, Catra. Really.”

“So, um, the ceremony…” Catra starts, suddenly nervous. “I wanted to ask you a favor.”

“Yeah?”

“I know it might sound a bit weird, but, you know, you’ve always – “ Catra pauses and takes a deep breath. Mara looks on encouragingly.

“At the wedding, could you walk me down the aisle, too?”

Mara’s teary-eyed nod is all the answer Catra needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading along with me! I only started writing fics cause of this (amazing) show, so all of your sweet comments and kudos mean a lot to me!
> 
> My next fic will probably be more similar to my usual fare, but let me know if you enjoyed this fluffy stuff, too.


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